Coming Out. . .of The Urban Woodwork

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo

The Captain continued recording the spectacle. “Here we are observing the destruction of these. . .green skinned humanoids. . .getting utterly destroyed by this alleged Bear God and his compatriots.”

A Super Mutant crept up behind the observing space crew, “Puny humans! You dinner! You—”

A red laser beam disintegrated the brute. The crew looked back at The Bear God. “You were to hide. . .in a good hiding place!” The Bear God yelled.

“We just wanted to watch. . .and take notes,” replied the space captain.

“Do it somewhere else then!” Rubricon quipped back.

Ben was humming a tune, while he went about massacring the Mutants and their hounds.

Apparently, it’s probably the only time he is happy. . .when he’s killing people, things. . .I like the kid. Sin smiled at the thought.

A loud Super Mutant’s voice boomed over a loud speaker. “Derpy Bear God! We knew you come! Your face will meet my fist! Kill them all! Let none survive!”

More and more Super Mutants poured out from the surrounding buildings.

The Mighty Bear God observed; getting excited at the spectacle. “Cheese and rice, they’re like cockroaches. . .and rabbits!”

“32. . .33. . .34. . .” Rubricon remarked, while Ben took note and upped the ante.

“47, 48, 53, old man rabbit, you’re getting left in the dust,” Ben yelled.

Rubricon shrugged. “Bet you haven’t seen this before though, Crabby.” Rubricon snapped his fingers, and from the sky there rained down ice lances, impaling assorted Super Mutants and their hounds.

Ben gazed in awe. “No. . .I haven’t.”

The Mighty Bear God yawned. “Ladies, if you’re done jerkin one another. . .this is how you do it.”

A swarm of Super Mutants rushed the Bear God; a suicide bomber in its midst. A scope came down over his eye as he pinpointed the bomber. He aimed with his shoulder mounted Gatling gun. He fired. . . “WHAT THE FUCK!” In an enormous explosion, the Super Mutant bomber blew up, along with the rest of its squadron.

“One shot. Zero effort.” Sin smirked.

“No scope, or it doesn’t count.” Quipped Rubricon.

“Oh, you got told!” Ben laughed, as he smashed some Super Mutant heads together, erupting in a bloody mess.

Sin sighed, “Fine. . .” He lept high in the air, until he was out of sight.

“He. . .can fly?” Ben inquired.

“Ha! Derpy Bear God run away!” The Super Mutant laughed over the PA system.

“Yeah, he can do a lot of things. . .” Rubricon replied.

“Is. . .he going to level the entire area?” Ben asked.

“Yep, probably.”

Ben grew a little uneasy. “Where we are?”

“Yep.”

Some from the space crew began to panic. “OH GOD HE’LL KILL US ALL!”

“Yeah, you may want to just start running away. . .probably by a few blocks.” Rubricon stated.

“What about you? Aren’t you going to get out of here?” Ben asked.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure—”

The Bear God could be heard falling from the sky, burning bright as he plummeted. “Dropping it like it’s hot! Woooooo—”

Far away, a massive explosion could be seen as the Mighty Bear God made impact with the town square.

As the smoke cleared in the square, bodies were either turned to ash, “goo”ified, or turned into a bloody pulp. Buildings were reduced to absolute rubble, and a massive crater was left in the middle of it all.

“Holy shit. . .that. . .was awesome!” Ben clacked.

Rubricon lowered his shield and shrugged. “It was alright.”

Sin stood up and dusted himself off. “I win,” he smiled brightly.

A little far off from the destructive trio, the space crew reached their feet and surveyed the damage.

“My word. . .such destruction!” The Captain remarked.

The yellow-skinned android analyzed the data. “Captain, by my calculations, all the ‘Mutant’s’ are destroyed. However. . .”

“What. .  .do you mean. . .’however,’ Zeta?” Remarked ‘Number Two’

Zeta paused. “However, I do believe there are more coming. . .”

“Do you think that they know of it?” Inquired the Captain.

“No. . .but I think they’re more than capable. We can just wait here and observe safely from afar, as it will result in no casualties, and provide optimum viewing pleasure.” Zeta stated.

“Understood. Make it so.” The Captain acknowledged.

Right then, as the crew set to watch the show continue on, a stray laser beam struck the side of a building, causing a small pebble to strike a red shirt uniformed crew member.

“AH!” the crewman fell to the ground, dead.

“Perhaps. . .minimum casualties. . .and that we should not wear any red shirts,” stated Zeta.

“Make it so,” said the Captain.

Meanwhile, the trio of pure destruction celebrated in their latest victory. However, beneath them there lurked a new threat to their survival. . .

“Stupid fools! You think we that easy to kill! PAH! We never die! We are INVINCIBLE,” the Super Mutant shouted over the speaker.

“We can’t see you if you’re invisible. . .you must be chicken then. To scared to fight us lowly ‘fools,'” The Bear God replied aloud.

“Argh! I said INVINCIBLE, not invisible you derpy bear,” the Mutant screamed. “Go get them!”

Hatches around the trio began to fly open, as Synths, Super Mutants and their hounds, and modified Super Mutant / Synth hybrids began to strike at them.

“Well. . .this just got interesting.” said Rubricon.

“Oh boy! It’d be a good time for the DOOM song!” Ben piped; jumping up and down in excitement.

“. . .or Black Betty. . .or even Ballroom Blitz,” Sin suggested.

Over the PA system came on a song. . .while the Mutant’s leader yelled angrily as to who put it on. Back with the space crew, the Captain’s ‘number three’ snickered to himself.

“Nicely done, Number Three.” Regarded the Captain.

Author: Sincados

Writer, gamer, foodie, brew enthusiast, and awesome dad. Also likes to make explosions...but not in any particular order.

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