It’s Better to be Beaten Off. . .Than Beaten Up.

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A Mirelurk pops his head up in front of a black screen.

“Hi! It’s me, Ben. Everyone’s favorite Mirelurk in the Wasteland. You may know me from The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God as the Bear God’s Right Hand. . .or The Herald of Destruction. Well, not too many people were excited that I got a little more screen time, or with my change after the incident with Jahn Trabolta. Let me tell you this, I frankly don’t give a damn. Some were even upset that I may be plotting against the Bear God. I am here to tell you that *SPOILERS*”

After a lengthy and long-winded speech. . .

“. . .and with that you can go fuck yourself. Until next time! This is me, flipping you off. . .with claws.”

Ben smiles. Well. . .if you could actually see a Mirelurk smile. He’s smiling though.

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God

Screen fades to black. . .some more.


Last time, on Diary of the Wasteland Bear God. . .

Rubricon confessed his love for nuts. While the Bear God was getting bitch slapped through walls and getting acidic jizz-shit-blobs in his eye; let’s just hope that none of it got in his mouth, and if so, that he didn’t swallow. Ben then volunteered for the next beat down of the APOCALYPSE. . .against the mighty crimson tide. . .Albrecht “The Tyrant” Wesker! No, we did not, or are not. . .playing off of Resident Evil at all! Get that idea out of your head! Besides, there is no steroid buffed the fuck out Chris Redfield, or Claire. . .or Jill. . .or Rebecca Chambers. . .HEY LADIES!

We now resume your regularly scheduled program, Keeping Up with the Finches. Will Abraham’s son, Jake, finally get with Lucy Abernathy? Will Blake Abernathy avenge his daughter, Mary? Find out on an all new episode at 10 PM EST (9 PM CST).


“Seriously, do you ever stay focused on one thing?” The Bear God grunted as he reached to his feet, the debris falling off.

He gave a mighty shake of his body, bristling his fur, concrete dust and dirt took to the air.

“Who is your friend talking to?” Albrecht inquired.

“Just. . .someone who likes to annoy us with random intermissions of nonsense.” Rubricon replied.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Ben chanted, clacking his claws and closing the gap between him and his foe.

Albrecht smacked his lips. “Ah, I see you are quite feisty. . .that’s good. It gets the blood pumping, saturates your muscles. . .so when I do kill you. Mmm. You taste delicious.”

Ben charged full force now. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, when I am devouring your heart. . .and your soul,” he yelled.

The immovable crimson object met with the brown leathery unstoppable force. . .a blinding white light overwhelmed the “lobby.”

As the light faded back to normal, Rubricon and the Bear God looked around for the two fighters. They were nowhere to be found. At least, not on this level. Apparently, they had collided with one another, and then busted through the ceiling. Punches could be heard, being thrown mostly at the lord crustacean of them all.

Ben was being overwhelmed, but he was taking the hits in stride, and with spirit.

“You hit like a Radroach,” he yelled at Wesker.

“I guess I shouldn’t hold back anymore. . .” Wesker grinned. “After all, I do know of your weak spot. . .just like all of your Mirelurks share.”

Ben was surprised. . .not only by the words, but also the massive attack that came crashing against his face. He tumbled across the rooftop like a tumbleweed, and then laid motionless after the assault.

“Well. . .that was rather short lived, I must say.” Wesker clasped his hands together, slightly disappointed.

“Ben,” the Bear God yelled, as he rushed to his fallen comrade’s side. “Are you alright?”

“Face. Hurts. Ouch.” Ben cringed with unbearable pain.

“You’ll be alright. Why don’t you let me take over now?” The Bear God asked.

“His soul. . .is mine.” Ben stated.

His eyes flickered a reddish haze.

Use your rage, Ben.

The mighty Mirelurk rose to his feet and clacked his claws furiously. “BEN SMASH!”

“Oh. . .we’re not finished yet. I am quite impressed, hatchling. I suppose I should maybe give it a little more effort. My stomach is starting to rumble.” Wesker looked up in the sky. “It is also nearing lunch. . .and I am famished.”

“I am going to kill you, apple bottom fuck face!” Ben roared.

“Wow. I’ve never seen this part of Ben before.” The Bear God said to Rubricon.

“Yeah, I’ve just met the kid, and I’ve got to say. . .he’s pretty pissed.” Rubricon added.

“I’m going to totally floss with your soul, after I am done tearing it out!” Ben yelled as he charged.

“Ah ah ah. . .” Wesker wagged his left index finger, “remember you still have that weakness!”

Wesker then wound up another series of fist attacks against Ben’s face and torso. However, Ben had succumbed to his rage, and it only fueled the fire that raged within. His feet had emanated red, to match with his anger. He darted around Wesker, unleashing his own attacks against the big red hulk.

Dust began to billow underneath the crustacean’s feet. As he circled the brute faster and faster, he eventually became a fierce tornado of pain and destruction. Dark gray clouds formed overhead, blotting out the sun, while thunder and lightning crashed, and sounded across the Wasteland. The Herald of Destruction danced to his own beat now, and it was to the symphony of doom.

Author: Sincados

Writer, gamer, foodie, brew enthusiast, and awesome dad. Also likes to make explosions...but not in any particular order.

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