Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle — February Amazon UK Promo

It’s our February promo! Happy Valentine’s Day. Running from the 12th through the 18th.

Hi, everyone.

I’m just dropping a brief post on my Valentine’s Day promotion for Amazon UK customers. You can get the urban fantasy novel, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for only £0.99, February 12th through the 18th. That’s so much in savings [60%!] you could help fund the proposed wall to—wait, what? We aren’t going to talk about American politics?  We aren’t going to discuss how we’re degrading ourselves and so on? Oh. . .OK. Well then, how about that picture I asked for? You know that one?

OK, so since we’re skipping politics, let’s continue with the promo!

Get a copy for your crazed book reader, book junkie, Kindle fanatic, or just get a copy. . .just because.

Folks, this is an enjoyable read. It’s not because we’re saying that it is, it’s because it just is. This is just one piece of a much grander puzzle. One step of a thousand steps. One slice of an XL pizza.

I had you at pizza, didn’t I? Good.

This promo will run from Feb. 12th through the 18th (2017). After that, what happens? Well, I guess you’re going to have to find out.

I invite you all to check it out!

Are you a Kindle Unlimited user? Great! You can already get Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for FREE with your subscription. Eyyy! *Fonz stance*

So, you could pay or you could play, and sign up for our mailing list and get your books for free!

Wishing you all a fantastic weekend and a happy, love making fiesta.

Cheers!

RJM


LILAH’S GUIDE TO HOYLE


Deluxe cover for
“All life is a gamble… We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

Description:

“All life is a gamble . . . We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

Demons. Sorcery. Magical playing cards. It’s anything but a fairy tale. Armed with her choice deck, her beloved book, Hoyle’s Guide to Poker and Parlor Tricks, and the skill that led her to throw away her college fund, Lilah gambles with her life—and with the lives of those around her.

Elsewhere, other players have a different idea of the rules of the game. And investigating the bizarre chain of events is Middleton PD’s finest, Detectives Dana Deupree and Walter Conway.

It’s anyone’s game. The cards have been shuffled and the stakes are high. The call has gone around the table. Others may fold, but not Lilah. She plays for keeps.

What will you wager? Will you call? Stand? Or will you fold?


You can get a digital copy via Amazon at $2.99.

You can also secure a paperback or hardcover copy.


Wanna go big? Get the digital copy of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for FREE by simply signing up for our mailing list.


“But Wait! There’s More!”

If you’ve been shoved under a rock, holding out in a bunker, or if you have no interest whatsoever, here’s a friendly reminder that you can novelette The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows for FREE on AmazoniBooksBarnes and Noble.

“Surprise!”

You can also secure yourself a FREE PDF copy of the second installment, The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing from Another World. Print and other formats soon to come.

“B-B-Bonus extravaganza!”

You can also download the anthology Abnormal Side Effects for Free on Amazon, iBooks, Barnes and Noble.

You can also opt-in for our mail list and get your free copies directly from us! Such edge! Much Words! WoW!

Prequel Title: Before Lilah

Before there was Lilah, there was the ordinary good girl…Lynaly.

A traumatic event transpires and leaves her distraught, broken, and looking elsewhere for answers.

At Death’s Door, in her mind, she meets Lilith. Someone who shares her loss, and the longing to be reunited with her long lost love.

Through a pact, Lilith is able to speak to Lynaly via telepathy and temporarily possess her using the blood jewels that Lilith once wore so many ages ago.

Things are set into motion. A secret order has demanded the head of Lynaly at all costs. A mysterious man in a wooden mask vows to stop Lilith from entering this world and to put an end to her plan of vengeance.

What will you do for the one you love?

What Will You do for the One You Love?

Before there was Lilah and the events that took place in Middleton, MA, there was the ordinary good girl…Lynaly. Deep in the heart of Mason, OH, who lived a very normal life.

However, that would soon all change…

After a catastrophic car accident claims the life of Sam, Lynaly’s boyfriend, and leaves her distraught, broken, and in a coma. She feels she can only find answers within the book her beloved and her were trying to obtain. At Death’s Door, in her mind, she meets the beautiful Lilith. Someone who shares her loss, and the longing to be reunited with her long lost love.

Through a pact, Lilith can speak to Lynaly via telepathy and temporarily possess her using the blood jewels that Lilith once wore so many ages ago.

Events are set into motion. A secret order has demanded the head of Lynaly at all costs. A mysterious man in a wooden mask vows to stop Lilith from entering this world and to put an end to her plan of vengeance. Even if that means hurting the girl whom Lilith uses as her vessel.

Armed with Lilith’s magic and her guardian, Sheila, Lynaly begins looking for the chance of a lifetime to resurrect the lost Samael.

The History in the Making…

Learn the origin of Lilith, Samael, Lynaly, Shiela, Atreyu and other characters that are explored in Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle. Learn the steps that were taken to solidify Lilith’s influence over Lynaly, and how dastardly Atreyu is.

While this novella is intended to be stand-alone, you’ll find rich development and lore on the characters that have stories to tell within each titled story.

You Know Her

You know of Lilah’s story and the Lynaly that was there. Ride along to see the lead up to the events of Middleton, MA. Learn of Lynaly’s lament.

Official title announcement, release date, and more information to come.

Upcoming Changes and More.

A brief post about upcoming changes and more.

A few changes will be taking place in the coming days regarding the website.

Right now, Season Two for The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God is all wrapped up. This also will include the conclusion for Johnny Nightwalker.

There will be a continuation of other stories that will be released for free on the website and available in print shortly after that. I’m excited to unveil these as they happen.

The next chapter for The Lodestone Files will be available for free on the website for a limited time. This will be in its raw, uncut, original form.

Print books for The Lodestone Files and Abnormal Side Effects will be made readily available next year. This also includes part two of The Lodestone Files. A discounted box set will be available for when all the books are released.

We will have merchandise for Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle soon as well. There will be artwork and more coming soon for The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal and other titles next year.

Needless to say, it’s going to be an intense year. I wish you all a happy holiday and invite you to stay tuned.

Also Buckethead. Just because.

bh

Available for Pre-Order…

The release of “Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle” is here. Secure your copy now.

Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle is set to release soon. Print copies will be made available.

Deluxe cover for "Lilah's Guide to Hoyle."
“All life is a gamble . . . We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

We hope you enjoy this exciting novel. This is one of the many stories in the Tragedy in Four Acts Series. More is to come!


“All life is a gamble . . . We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

Demons. Sorcery. Magical playing cards. It’s anything but a fairy tale. Armed with her choice deck, her beloved book, “Hoyle’s Guide to Poker and Parlor Tricks”, and the skill that led her to throw away her college fund, Lilah gambles with her life—and with the lives of those around her.

Elsewhere, other players have a different idea of the rules of the game. And investigating the bizarre chain of events is Middleton PD’s finest, Detectives Dana Deupree and Walter Conway.

It’s anyone’s game. The cards have been shuffled and the stakes are high. The call has gone around the table. Others may fold, but not Lilah.

She plays for keeps.

The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God: Portalpocalypse [Part Two]

The massive and exciting conclusion of Season One of “The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God” is here! There will be many monsters slain, and people killed off. A comet, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. Then we’ll have an ice-cold pint and wait for all this to blow over.

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo

The Bear God met Diablo head on. He grunted in pain as he slid down the massive being’s forehead.

“Pathetic gnat,” Diablo grinned, “when you last encountered me, I was not at full power. Now,” the Lord of Hell raised his hands to the heavens, calling down meteors of destruction and more demons, “NOW I AM AT FULL POWER! Face the wrath of the Lord of Hell!”

“Don’t think I do not have any tricks left, Big Red,” said the Bear God as he landed on the ground.

“More are approaching!” Rico shouted providing covering fire.

Kronam swung his sword around in an impressive manner, “I call upon my ancestors, grant me the strength and vitality to defeat my foes!” A flash of blue lightning struck the sword, infusing it and its wielder with an incredible amount of power. His eyes raged in an unwavering blue-white. “Today, your legion falls, Diablo, and with it, you!”

Kronam charged into a mass of demons, monsters, and other assorted foes. He dispensed justice to those that dared stood in his path. He charged from foe to foe, sometimes cleaving ten or more with one blow.

“Rico, Rubricon, volley shot now!” he yelled.

The marksman and mage fired bullets and spells into the air, giving the heavens a brilliant display of streaking magic infused bullets, fireballs, icicles, and arcane orbs. The ground erupted around Kronam in an impressive display of monsters being blown up, impaled, incinerated, disintegrated—their shrieks stifled by the icy touch of Death.

It was all for naught, though. More poured from the portal. MOTHER was fast approaching. They needed a miracle and needed it now.

Maker, can you help us out down here?

Maker?

The Bear God found no one listening. “Typical.” He assessed the situation, the odds, and charted the best course of action. He sighed in knowing one true way they could beat MOTHER, Diablo, save the day, go home and have an ice-cold pint. It wouldn’t be pretty, though.

The Bear God heard the sound of a dog barking from behind him. He turned around and saw Dogmeat tearing through enemies, ripping out their throats, and leaping from monster to monster. His canine friend came and whimpered.

“Hey, boy. What do you say? Think it’s time to go home?” the Bear God asked, petting him.

Dogmeat barked and then looked up at the fast-approaching comet, and then growled. “Yeah, boy, don’t worry. I’ll be back.”

Sin closed his eyes and dug deep for his power that laid dormant. “It’s time to take it up a notch.” First, he glowed red, then blue, and then he emanated a white aura. His fur glistened a golden touch at the tips of each strand of hair. He looked up to the comet and leaped into the air, flying straight for it.

“HA! Look, your pathetic ‘Bear God’ flees, leaving you all behind,” Diablo laughed.

Rubricon and the others all watched as the mighty bear flew up. “What the hell is he doing?”

Ben changed his right arm into a large Mirelurk claw and crushed a horde of monsters. “He is going to destroy MOTHER.”

“Give that bitch hell, Sin!” Rico shouted.

Ben looked to Diablo. “I believe we have some unsettled business.”

The monstrous demon looked down at the small glowing being, cackling. “You dare challenge me? I will crush you underfoot!”

Ben grinned, “I haven’t been completely honest either.” In a flash, Ben grew to the same size as Diablo.

The stunned demon took a step back. “What sorcery is this?”

“POWER. UNLEASHED.” Ben roared, sending out waves of energy that caused all the demons and monsters around him to explode in a kaleidoscope of goo, and Diablo to fall onto his back.

“I may have underestimated you, small one. No matter. There is no hope you could ever have in beating me!” the demon snapped back.

“I don’t plan on beating you. I plan on destroying you entirely,” said Ben with a malevolent grin.

A mighty white fist flew through the air and met with the red demon lord’s face, causing him to fall to his knees.

***

The air began to thin quickly and soon; the Bear God was in space. “S—so fucking cold,” he said. The comet was getting closer. He focused on above his emotions, above pain, above everything else. Energy surged from within, and he erupted into a blaze of kaleidoscopic energy. He swore he could hear someone laughing, another crying, and others dying somewhere far off.

A final thrust of energy gave him the speed he needed. He collided with the comet and bored to its core, then unleashed a massive burst of energy. The force of the explosion sent him hurtling backward, on a path for Earth. Now, a new comet was born, and there burned a god.

***

Back on the surface, Rubricon and the others saw the explosion of the comet. They cheered at the victory of their friend. Then their short reprieve was turned to despair as they saw the new being hurtling back towards them.

“What the hell happened?” Rubricon asked.

“This doesn’t look good. Even with MOTHER gone, this could still take everything out,” said Rico.

Not far off, Dante fended off the enemies that attacked him, dodging elegantly. He was, however, unable to land any blows upon the monsters. His frustration was growing, as was his impatience. Finally, he snapped. Demonic magics and influence overcame him, the magical orbs in his sword glowed a hellish red.

“Knights of the Round, heed my call!”

Several figures in different ornate sets of armor traversed existence from the orbs and began cutting, slicing, smashing Dante’s enemies. When they finished their assault, a great knight that radiated gold emerged and raged upon the foes. Dante then flicked his wrist and set them all ablaze in a fiery inferno.

With his mind now calm and the enemies’ dead, he returned to his normal state, sighing in relief.

***

Elsewhere, on the far edges of the Earth’s atmosphere, an unknown female voice spoke to the unconscious Bear God. “Why do you fight the inevitable? You know you will lose. The cycle must repeat, as it has for millennia. You seek to throw the order of the universe out of whack?”

“Because destiny can be changed, the future is fickle and never truly defined. It is ours to make. The cycle of pain, death, and destruction must end. How are we to learn from our mistakes if we do not get the chance to redeem ourselves and learn?” the Bear God replied.

“What you speak of is a pipe dream and nothing more,” said the gentle voice.

“What you talk of is a cycle that will keep repeating history and offer no other outcome. You speak of madness, insanity,” the Bear God spoke, beginning to awaken. “I will fight for my family, for my home, for my world. I will break your cycle. I will bring order to the universe, and I will be damned if I am told otherwise!”

Attached to the Bear God was a giant squid-like figure with golden eyes that tried to burrow itself in him. Its maw snapped at him and tried to enter his mouth. Sin hugged the being and began sending his energy into the being and focused on getting back to Earth. “I think I need to introduce you to a friend of mine.”

***

Ben and Diablo fought, with Ben apparently having the upper hand. “Please, no more. I beg of you,” pleaded the demon lord.

Ben stood above the fallen demon, “I offer you no mercy.” He raised a fist like a mighty gavel and brought it down. The image of the Lord of Hell scattered and then faded to nothing, leaving Ben puzzled.

“Surprise!” Diablo cried as he thrust his claws through Ben.

As he fell to his knees and felt life leaving him, he looked up to see the Bear God falling from the heavens. “Strike. Him. Down.” And like that, Ben dropped to the ground lifeless.

“No, Ben!” Rubricon cried. He felt the rage deep within stir. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time, not since…

He erupted into an ethereal form, where ice, fire, arcane, and other elements flowed. His eyes burned bright with the elements. He raised his hand to the sky and launched several attacks in every direction. Annihilating any remaining demons and monsters and putting a huge barrier in front of the portal.

Diablo’s back singed, and he roared in pain. “Miserable gnat! You will pay for that!”

Percy roared back and glowed a dark purple and charged the massive demon, with Rico and the others following in attack. Together, they struck at the Lord of Hell, knocking him back towards the portal. Demons, monsters, and more built up against the portal. It wouldn’t be long until it burst, allowing all of them to be free once again.

***

High above, the Bear God roared in anger. The heavens echoed as if a thousand thunderstorms simultaneously went off. “Mother, meet Diablo. I think you two,” Sin hurled the squid being at Diablo and continue his projectile path, “are a match made in heaven!”

Diablo raised his hands, the barrier holding back the monsters behind the portal fell. MOTHER collided with Diablo, causing him to spin around and stagger, then the Bear God slammed into him and pushed him into the portal, going along with him. The portal then closed. The others slew the few monsters that slipped through hastily.

It was over. Diablo was defeated, MOTHER was no more, and the Bear God was gone.

“What now?” Rico said to Rubricon.

Maker, can you restore Ben?

Silence.

Maker?

Rubricon looked to the ground. “Something has happened to the Maker. He’s not there. I guess, we’re on our own.”

Wherever you are, Sin. I hope you can get back.

***

Elsewhere, at Atom’s Crater, looking in with their looking glass, the Anti-Bear God watched as the Bear God was banished to Hell.

A grin stretched across their lips. “Your self-sacrifice and honor is your downfall.”

“ABG, you have failed,” said a member of the council.

“On the contrary, it has gone all according to plan,” The Anti-Bear God said, putting away their looking glass. “And now, I believe we have business to discuss regarding my place as Head of the Council.”

“Preposterous!” another member shouted.

The head council member raised their hand. “You are to heed our beck and call, fiend. Your choice of words next better be good or else.”

The ABG laughed, “I can write you all out of existence. Your best option to save you was that pathetic Bear God. Now, you can either agree to my ascension or face your death.”

The Evil Council shouted to one another, some even readied magical attacks. The head council member raised their hand. “Enough! There needs not be bloodshed over such a trivial manner.” They sighed, “Very well. We agree on your ascension.”

“Good,” the ABG said, “but I will be taking it regardless, along with all of your magics.” The Anti-Bear God raised their right hand and siphoned out the essences of the council members one by one. Some got off attacks, but they were rendered useless.

The ABG sighed with renewed vigor. “It is so good to be evil.”

***End of Season One***

The Bear God and Friends Will Return in 2017!

 PRIOR ENTRIES:
 LAST TIME ON DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD…Z!
Portalpocalypse
And then before that…BAT OUT OUT OF HELL
AND THEN even BEFORE THAT…I WILL POSSESS YOUR HEART
AND THEN EVEN BEFORE THAT…HOLY DIVER
AND THEN EVEN BEFORE all of THAT…GOOD HELP (IS SO HARD TO FIND)
NO more “AND THEN…”

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS!

Johnny Nightwalker: Victim or Hostage?

Johnny and Pierre have a long talk about things. There is also an explosion.

Pierre pulled a pin from a hand grenade and tossed it at Johnny.

“What the hell!” Johnny shrieked, ducking behind a dumpster.

The French Cat shrugged, “It’s just a party favor.”

A loud pop was heard, as confetti and glitter exploded everywhere in the air.

“Are you insane?” Johnny questioned, peering behind the dumpster.

Pierre smirked at the remark. “I do have a reputation after all. Now, come, let us take our leave.”

After a short walk, the small army of cats, squirrels, and Chihuahua came to rest with Johnny at a park.

Johnny looked around, noting the busy park goers. “I thought we were going somewhere discreet?”

Pierre snickered, “My boy, being in the open is probably the most tactful thing you can do.”

“Then why didn’t we just stay in the alleyway?”

“Because, my human compatriot, we were still being watched from afar. Now that we are here, we can blend in, and we have witnesses—or hostages—to our advantages. Just trust me.” Pierre then turned to Red and his squirrels. “I recommend your party fan out and take to the trees. We must act natural.” Red nodded and motioned his team to disperse. Pierre then turned to Chico, “Be a good dog and sit on your owner’s lap, will you? We can’t risk the general populous discovering a talking dog.” Chico snorted and laid down at Johnny’s feet. The cat smirked and then continued to address his cats to leave the immediate area, “Fan out, scout, survey, and be on the lookout for him. He’ll most likely try to come through here. I know it.”

“Who?” asked Johnny.

“TC…or as you met him, ‘Snake,’” replied Pierre.

“Wouldn’t it be obvious that a black cat is slinking around in a park?”

“He’s not some simpleton feline, my friend. He’s a master of disguise…” Pierre paused, “and a Handler.”

Johnny and the others raised an eyebrow. “He’s a Handler? But he’s just a cat!”

Pierre shook his head, “No, he can manipulate any form he wishes: cat, bird, dog, or a person.”

Johnny scratched his head. “Well, how can you tell then that he would be around here?”

Pierre grinned, “All of my cats are equipped with a unique lens that detects the anomaly that a shapeshifter does when they change shape. In short, they have a special kind of signature that only we can tell.”

Johnny secretly admired the idea of shapeshifting and being able to manipulate any form. While doing so he also had the thought occur of being a cat with human arms, mid-air, punching someone; causing him to snicker.

“Something funny, friend?” asked Pierre.

“Ah, it was just a random thought I had. Don’t worry about it,” said Johnny.

Pierre chuckled, “Hmm, hmm, I bet you did. Something about a cat and man arms, right?”

“How did you know?”

“It’s a bit of a gift. Something I’ve been endowed with.” Pierre sighed. “Anyway, we have some business to discuss. I suggest we sit and have a chat about the future of the world.” Pierre motioned towards the wood bench that was behind Johnny.

The boy and his dog conversed with the French cat that was secretly a terrorist.

“What are your goals? What do you hope to achieve? Where do you see yourself in five years?” Pierre asked.

“Is…this a job interview or a discussion about the Agency?” Johnny replied.

“Just testing you; strange, yes, I know.” Pierre gazed into Johnny’s eyes. “Look into my eyes, friend. I want to see what you know.”

“That sounds pretty creepy, you know,” said Johnny.

Pierre laughed. “Yes, it does. Have you never heard that the ‘eyes are the windows to the soul?’”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

Pierre’s voice turned stern, “Then look…and do not stray.”

Johnny fixated on Pierre’s gaze, becoming uncomfortable.

Several moments passed, and several passersby looked at the strange boy with his dog and cat. Remarking that they were “weird” or “probably in love with their animals.”

“I see. I am sorry for your loss, Jonathan. Jerry seemed like he would have been a good man one day,” said Pierre.

“He was. Sometimes he still helps me in my dreams,” replied Johnny.

“Hmm, quite a helpful lad he is.” Pierre took in a deep breath, “Well, since I know what I need to. I am going to have to kill you.”

“Wait, what?” Johnny recoiled from the cat.

JOHNNY “NIGHTWALKER” IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS.

The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God: Portalpocalypse [Part One]

The portal is open and has unleashed Hell and more. Can our heroes defeat the villainous Diablo and the heinous villains from another universe…other universes…? Find out!

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo

The portal wailed as various demons, and other foes spewed out into The Wasteland. Diablo laughed as different bosses from other universes heralded the end for Earth, and at the foolish mortals that dared attempted to stop his plans.

While high up, getting closer and closer was the comet that the ABG had summoned to wipe out the Earth. The light was growing more bright, giving a cause of concern to the denizens of the Earth. The heroes fought on, destroying plenty of monsters, demons, and other foes.

Diablo cackled maniacally. “No matter how many you kill, no matter how hard you fight,” he stared hard at the group of heroes, “It. Is. All. For. Naught!”

Rico panted, “He’s right, we can’t keep this up.”

The Bear God smashed the skull of a demon under his paws. “We beat him before, and we’ll do it again. We just have to shove his fat ass through the portal again.”

Diablo snickered, “Ah, ah, I won’t fall for that trick again, Bear God.”

Sin assessed the situation and tried to come up with a strategy. The end game win was simple, shove Diablo through the portal and close it. The rest of the demons and monsters could then be wiped out. Then he could figure out a way to zap the comet, and then they’d all be able to go to the pub and have an ice-cold pint.

“Alright, here’s what we do—“ before he could finish his sentence, an army of what was called “Murlocs” stampeded from the portal.

Their commander waved a flag made from flesh and bone and raised their broadsword towards the heavens. “MRRRRRRGLRGLRGLRGLL MRR MRR RAH!” he shouted.

A red haze overcame their fish-like eyes as they decided to go after anything that wasn’t their kind.

The Bear God shrugged.

Demons, Mirelurks, Raiders, monsters from unspeakable worlds took over the battlefield. Some fought one another, others had their orders and focused solely on the heroes that stood defiantly against them all.

The battle raged on. The forces of Good vs. Evil were pit against one another, with Evil having the upper hand in the matter.

The Twins fought valiantly, having transformed into a large bear, a nod to their newfound compatriot. Together as one, they slaughtered thousands of demons and monsters. Rico and Haley would swing and often grapple, landing on the “bear’s” backside, helping destroy more foes. A black dragon of untold size fell and tail swiped the four, causing the Twins to separate and Rico to collide with Haley.

“Cower at the might of Onxyia, and Nefarian, mortals!” Nefarian bellowed.

Rico frantically searched around, for there was only one dragon before them.

High above, using the glow of the comet to mask her descent, Onyxia took in a deep and then exhaled, sending flames coursing at the group.

“Take cover!” Rico cried, shielding Haley.

Rico looked to see the Twins melted down in their armored units.

“NO!” he cried.

Percival leaped through the air and slit the throat of the dragon known as Nefarian and ripped his head off, sending Onyxia into a rage. “You will pay for your treachery against the Black Dragonflight, mortals! she hissed.

Percival hurled the head of Nefarian at Onyxia, causing her to crash into the ground. She rolled and came to rest with her brother’s head atop her. Percival leaped through the air and picked up the head and jammed it into her throat, killing her.

Elsewhere, Dante stylishly slew monsters and demons. He backflipped and landed perfectly after having killed 30 monsters in a matter of seconds. A dark aura emanated underneath him, the bodies of those Dante had slain rattled and shook violently. The bodies soon disappeared but in their place came beings from another universe he had never known.

A large dragon and its rider emerged from beneath the ground. A small stack of bodies erupted into a bonfire. “You dare challenge the Nameless King, mortal?”

Dante sighed, “Well, this looks like it’s going to be fun.”

Then, from beneath the ground came more.

Two figures first emerged, calling themselves Lothric and Lorian.

“Alright, I can deal with that too…” Dante said assuringly.

Then emerged the being called Pontiff Sulyvahn and his clone.

“Yeah, this is getting ridic…” Dante was interrupted when the “Abyss Watchers” and “Soul of Cinder” erupted from the ground. “I…am…so fucked,” he said.

***

Rubricon unleashed his arsenal of magic spells on the monsters, reducing them to ash, while Kronam sliced his way through other demons. Ben slaughtered many foes as well. However, fatigue was starting to set in.

“I don’t know how long exactly we can keep this up,” said Rubricon.

“I can slay thousands, but they just keep respawning,” said Kronam.

“They’re graveyard zerging from the portal. We don’t have much hope other than getting that thing closed and shoving ‘Big Red’ back through it,” said Ben.

The Bear God let loose a shrill war cry, causing the lesser demons and monsters on the field and in the sky to all explode; blood, guts, bodies and such rained from above.

The only member that did nothing was Blitzkrieg and Rico noticed it. “What are you doing? Are you going to help?”

***

In his armored unit, Blitzkrieg grinned. “It had only been a matter of time for my master’s plan to come to fruition. Now that it has, I am no longer needed. The Toymaker was merely a pawn in a grand scheme. Your lives fuel for the Prime Evil. MOTHER is coming home. Evil will wash over this world, and I will have the chance to watch it from space.”

Blitzkrieg’s armor unit transformed into a rocket and began to launch for the heaven’s. “Thank you, Bear God, for clearing the sky for me!” the German laughed hysterically as his ship ventured into space.

“Uh…OK?” said the Bear God. “So, why is he all happy about watching the world supposedly end from space?”

“He’s going to use the moon base as his future spaceship. The Toymaker had a secret project done many years ago, and knowing him, it’s been completed,” said Rico.

The Bear God brought a palm up to his face. “Great, I can see what will happen now in ‘Season Two.’”

Demons and more monsters began pouring out from the portal. “Do you see your folly yet, mortals? Kill as many as you want, it makes no difference. We. Are. LEGION!”

The Bear God gritted his teeth. “I am getting real fucking tired of seeing your red ass in my sky.” He leaped into the air with finesse and aimed straight for the Lord of Hell, Diablo.

“Ah, yes, come ‘Bear God.’ Meet your end! MEET YOUR MAKER!” Diablo bellowed.


 PRIOR ENTRIES:
 LAST TIME ON DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD…Z!
Bat Out Out of Hell
And then before that…I WILL POSSESS YOUR HEART
AND THEN even BEFORE THAT…HOLY DIVER
AND THEN EVEN BEFORE THAT…GOOD HELP (IS SO HARD TO FIND)
No, and then…

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS!