What’s New?

Hey, folks.

RJM here, dropping a quick line about some new stuff coming up.

Paperback copies of the following titles will be soon available on Amazon:

  • The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows
  • The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World
  • Abnormal Side Effects

Pre-orders for The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will open up soon. It will have a placeholder image/cover, for now, since it is being redone.

There will be digital and paperback copies available. However, hardcover copies will be extremely limited to 13. These will be signed, numbered, and include an extra snippet following the story.

There will also be a new anthology dubbed Abnormal Side Effects: Refill. This collection will have everything that the first did not. There will be a compiled version where the two are one and via box set.

More projects are underway, and there are also plans to cover BlizzCon 2017. Since it will be a first-time experience, it’ll be documented and reported on. It’s something I am excited to share.

But really… Vacation! Everyone needs some R & R. It’s recommended. If I were a doctor, I’d prescribe it with a severe amount of refills…and probably be out of practice rather quickly.

That’s all for now. I’ll be sharing some other goodies soon enough.

Until next time,

RJM

Coming This Fall—November in Fact

Hey, folks.

So, we’re not doing a cover reveal yet…but The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal is finished.

I wanted to share an excerpt from our beloved suicidalist on one of his many escapades. In addition, here are some other points to address.Paperback may be the only print format available—at first. If anything, there would just be a limited amount of hardcovers, which would include a little something extra about Bob. If you like the story and how it goes, trust me, it’s something you’ll love.

Format: Paperback may be the only print format available—at first. If anything, there would just be a limited amount of hardcovers, which would include a little something extra about Bob. If you like the story and how it goes, trust me, it’s something you’ll love. As always, if you buy a print copy, you get a digital copy for free with us (and Amazon).

Pricing: $3 flat. It could be less or it could be about the same. The chances are high that it’ll just be $3 flat.

Cover: It’s gonna be sexy. At least in our eyes.

Surprise! If you want a digital version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for free, just go to the store, set out to buy it, and enter in the coupon LILAHFREE. Boom. Done. You can then download it as many times as you want…or even gift it.

You can also nab The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows and Abnormal Side Effects for free too.

Anywho, without further ado… Here’s a brief excerpt from The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal.


Episode One: The Chronic Suicidal

Have you ever had those moments where you’re sitting there (or hell, driving) and just thinking, “Man, I could totally kill myself right now.” Or maybe—and work with me here—you’re sitting at the dinner table with your family. You know, your spouse, perhaps your parents, kids, siblings, whatever. Then the moment you break bread you’re just like, “Fuck it!” You slam your palms down (or fists, or do a table flip, I don’t fucking know), grab that steak knife, and . . . slit. You know? Slit your own throat? Literally. Right there. At the dinner table. You got blood spraying, gushing out, dripping down your clothes, all over the furniture, the walls, the fine China, the mashed potatoes, on your folks, in your kid’s eye.

Well, if you’ve ever had moments like these, where you’re compelled to do the unthinkable, you’re not alone. Hell, I do it all the time. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bob Barnen, and I am a chronic suicidal.

Christ, it sounds like I’m at some AA meeting, or in the confessional or something. Yeah, well, I’m not. The truth is, I dunno where I am. I mean, I do, I just don’t know where exactly I am. I guess I could be dead, dreaming, in a coma. I tried asking others: my wife, my kids, my folks, my friends—hell, even my dog! No one has a goddamn clue what the hell is going on. What I do know is this: every time I commit suicide, I’m put right back in bed, safe and cozy.

I guess I could start by telling you about the first time I had the impulse, and why I did what I did.

Now, lemme tell ya, I had no regrets. Not even a letter. I loved my family, an’ hell, I still do. It wasn’t their fault that I wanted to end it. I was just done. Just done with life. I couldn’t handle the stress of a transfer out of state, of meeting people who were culturally different, and honestly, of not knowing a single goddamn person. I mean sure, the pay was good, yeah, but what good is the pay when you bust your balls and ask all the boys at the cooler—“Hey, Pete, Bill, Shaun, guy—to get a drink after work and don’t get a single goddamn word in reply? Instead, they give you this look like, who the fuck are you? Oh, it’s the new guy! Bah, fuck ’em. I’ll tell you what, those sons of bitches who say that they’re there “if you need help,” or some “reasonable accommodation,” or their “door is always open,” they’re lying sons of bitches. They don’t care about you. They don’t care about no one except their own goddamn selves and their fat fucking wallets.

I do apologize, I seemed to have run off there.

So here’s the deal: job transfer out of state. I’m a desk jockey at a firm that deals the stock market. Been married for thirteen years, four kids. I have a nice house, decent pay, fucked-up neighbors. I got a car, dog, and some cats. What’s there to be wrong? Probably absolutely nothing, and I get that. What happened was pretty simple. I jumped. I jumped right off the roof of the office building right smack onto the cars and curb below. I say “and curb” because I think—I’m pretty sure at least—that my feet snapped on it and shattered. I dunno. I can’t say I remember anything other than a giant forceful knockout that, well, knocked the shit out of me.

You might be asking, “What were your final thoughts?” Well, for starters: “Oh shit, oh shit, bad idea, bad idea.” Followed by, “I’m flying!” Then, “Holy shit the ground is coming up fast.” Next, “Why am I doing this? Who’s going to take care of the kids, and my wife? What the hell am I doing?” And then, some guilt, anger, sadness, love, happiness. Finally, nothing. Pow! Lights out.

Now, hindsight being twenty-twenty, yeah, it was pretty fucking stupid. Do I regret it? Yes and no. Yes, because I was dumb to leave my family alone in this fucked-up world. And no because, well, I can’t die. OK, I can die, but I can’t die. I’m like Bill fucking Murray in an extreme, uncensored version of Groundhog Day, but it’s been going on now for . . . fuck if I know. Either way, nothings working, and truth be told, I’ve started to actually enjoy it. If this is how I get to spend the rest of my days, so be it, I guess. I get to see my wife, my kids; that’s good enough for me. Still, I can’t shake the thought of there being more to this. For now, I’ll just get dressed.

By the way, if you haven’t figured it out yet—I recently killed myself at the dinner table.

—END EXCERPT—


So there you have it, folks. I hope you enjoyed this sampling of Bob’s meaty loins.

Until next time,

— RJM and Friends

Johnny Nightwalker: The End

Energy arced and cracked off of johnny. He looked at Omega and waved his hand. Omega was sent tumbling through the air and skidding across the ground.

Omega made efforts to try and assimilate any free energy in the air but couldn’t find any.

“You could have helped prevent this. You could have helped humanity. You ruined it all. You took them all away from me,” Johnny said as he gathered energy into his hand.

“Look, Johnny, it doesn’t have to end this way. We could rule over this world as brothers. You know?” Omega started to plead. He then threw his hands up in the air in disgust. “On second thought, I’m not the sharing type.”

Omega tried to make use of his fighting prowess, but it was of no use.

Johnny roared savagely and hit Omega with a fistful of energy. Omega was sent down into the earth. It was deep enough to send lava to the surface.

Johnny waited.

The Earth trembled and spat out a disfigured Omega; blackened and scarred with ash. Molten lava still adhered to him in some places.

“What have you done? What have you done to me?” Omega screamed.

“You have definitely seen better days,” Johnny remarked.

“I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you and this miserable planet! I don’t need it. I can just reshape it from the ashes and piss on your corpse!” Omega then began to laugh hysterically.

“You’ve lost. Give it up,” Johnny replied.

Omega snapped his fingers, and the earth began to shake violently. “Ace up my sleeve, short stack. Never play without one.”

Johnny gritted his teeth. He clasped his hands together and muttered a few words. The Horsemen appeared and attacked Omega, alternating each attack. Then the fallen Guardians did. Chico, Red, Pierre, Snake, Rottie…all of them. Then Johnny summoned the rest of his power. “It. Ends. Now.”

Lightning struck Johnny, and he was engulfed by the blue-white light. The roar of a tiger echoed throughout the heavens. His appearance mimicked a white tiger. Johnny attacked Omega, decimating him. Omega then laid on the ground, gasping for breath. “You’ll never save this planet.”

Johnny, in his tiger appearance, tore out Omega’s throat. He assumed his human form and wiped the blood from his mouth.

The Earth began to shake more violently and rumbled with impending doom. Without a clue of what to do, Johnny dropped to his knees.

Mom. Dad. I’ve let you down. I’ve let everyone down. Johnny waited for the end to come. However, Johnny felt the earthquakes begin to subside and heard a voice come to him.

Who is it that weeps for those lost? Who is it that defeated the beast that had set me on a self-destructive path?

Who—who’s there? Johnny asked.

I am Gaia, the spirit of the Earth. I have been in pain for so long. Then there was an exponential increase recently. There was someone who tried to kill me. I heard someone crying in the midst of the madness. Someone who wanted only to save the world and all those who were dear. Thus, I found you, child.

A beautiful woman in green and white appeared before him. “Are you the one who saved me?”

Johnny stood up and cautiously approached the woman. “I am.”

The woman smiled, “Then you are indeed the Guardian I have been waiting for.”

***

I no longer roam the night alone, for it is my friend. The day calms me and comforts me, for it is the silver lining of existence.

We are all interconnected, interwoven. Our fates, shared. Our destinies, our own. You are all a part of me, such as I am you. You are free. The world…is now free.

I am no longer The Nightwalker. I am the Guardian, Protector of Gaia, and the Earth.

***

A short time had passed. Humanity began to rebuild and right some of the wrongs it had done. Johnny looked down over the city below, watching people rebuild. With hope in his heart that people could change. However, he’d be ready to defend the earth if the need to ever arose. The wind blew softly through his hair. He could almost see Gaia caressing his cheek as she continued on her way through the heavens. As he stared up at the sky and the clouds rolling, he could feel the gaze of the Guardians and Jerry looking down. He smiled at this and went down to lend a hand at those who worked to rebuild.

The End

JOHNNY “NIGHTWALKER” IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS.
Previously
The Nightwalker ToC

A Note from RJM: I hope you enjoyed the story of Johnny Nightwalker. There will be a final/print and polished digital version (eventually). These series of posts do not represent the final product, so please bear that in mind.

The Nightwalker may return…for now though; his story is complete.

Until next time,

RJM

Sincados Does Some Square Dancing

Every so often, Sincados will put on his dancing shoes and leave his friends behind. He, too, can do the dance of squares and rectangles.

It’s nothing magical or unique, other than that square dropoff there can lead to treasure…or doom. Mostly doom.

There are other moments to share…but it’ll take some time to get them all up. It will happen though.

The Return of a God

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God returns this Fall with more entries and advancements to the overall story, plus the current arc.

Season Two will finish up, and then in Winter/Spring Season Three will debut.

Some characters will live. Some will die. Others may evolve, and others may become Mary-Sue characters because nothing within the universe quite makes sense.

All in all, it will be a fun adventure, and I look forward to sharing it with everyone.

If you’re new to the story and its concept, I recommend clicking the link above and getting a snack…or two…OK, maybe a few.

— RJM