Updates!

Hey, folks.

Just dropping a quick line about what’s coming up.

  • Friday! You can get Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for FREE on Amazon Kindle. One day only, so make a note!
  • Here’s a new skidmark record breaking video of the Druid stomping around giving out bear hugs. Check that out here.

There will be an addition to Johnny Nightwalker Thursday, but for now… I wanted to share that bit.

Later on tonight is our first night of our weekly raid of Tomb of Sargeras. Normal and Heroic that is. I’ll probably stream it for kicks. Here.

That’s about it for now. I hope you all had a good 4th of July, didn’t text and drive, drink and drive, or do anything that endangered the lives of others or yourselves. Stay safe out there. Be frosty.

RJM

The Problem With Bowling: Action Scenes and Otherwise.

And so we continue on with the reemergence of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God today with Episode Four (or as I had dubbed it: Let Me Bowl or Let Me Die!)

On with the evolution of writing and styling of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

And so we continue on with the reemergence of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God today with Episode Four (or as I had dubbed it: Let Me Bowl or Let Me Die!)

During my travels in the Wasteland, I found a robot infested bowling alley. As such, I was inspired to give it a story and a place. I was also reminded of the Stephen Lynch song Malachi, the Bowling God song.

The peanut butter bit is a long-running joke in my World of Warcraft guild, Revolt (Horde – Aegwynn), that my friend (Healingbot) would use a jar of peanut butter on his nuts to lure his dogs. There’s more to it, but we’ll stick with that.

The ‘minuscule dick’ part is when I was doing the WoW event “Love is in the Air” aka Valentine’s Day equivalent, where a group of players were upset that I started the boss encounter instead of waiting for them to get the perfume/cologne neutralizer, and the healer didn’t have mana (and neglected to say anything upon entering this instance aka dungeon). Needless to say, they were “salty” and said things. . .which I think I have screenshots still. I’ll have to find them.

  • A FYI: Tanking is where you hold a boss or monster’s aggro aka protect your group members. DPSing is damage per second aka damage dealers, where you do damage. . .and hit things. Pretty much, the higher your numbers are, you’re doing good. Don’t stand in the fire either.

Anyway, things began to fuse together and became entangled in a sticky mess of crazy sauce. As such, the diary entry was made and posted for all eyes to roll at it and be ashamed to even read it.

If you notice anything about it, it is all about embracing your inner nerd, crazy, or whatever weirdness that dwells within. Have fun. Explore. You’ve seen (possibly, or maybe you’ve not even bothered with exploring these commentary/supplemental posts) that you can do anything.

Look at “Rap” artists today. People, most, in fact, think that it requires no skill to make rhyming words, a sick beat, drop some bass (and go bass fishing perhaps), and wear flashy jewelry and brandish firearms. It doesn’t.

They’re right. It doesn’t.

You can make anything sellable, anything profitable, anything worth something to the public’s eye. As long as you’re putting yourself out there and working towards a goal. . .that’s where the skill comes in.

So, yes, maybe they wear meat suits, skimpy outfits, talk about “bitches” and “hoes” and sample tracks to make millions, but you are eating that shit up like a delectable bowl of succotash. How they are marketed, how egotistical they are (or can be—right Kanye? Trump?) or maybe they are actually good. We can go on.

So sure, it reads like a detestable and morally degradable piece of garbage. I doubt though many at all would see the comedy and humorous mask for which it stands for—this series that is—and that’s OK.

As long as I have fun and continue doing what I want to do, striving for my personal goal. . . that’s all that matters.

I invite you back for another dig in session tomorrow with another diary entry and the evolution of this series.

Until then,

RJM


The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Four

[Let Me Bowl or Let Me Die!]

“It is said, that long ago, before The Great Smiting came to pass. . .the nonbelievers of [indecipherable] were to cast themselves bare, nude, and crude—spread and groin first, to be smitten by the three fingered 9,001 Black Spheres of Fear. For they were tools of reckoning of His one nemesis, Malachi, The Robotic Mastodon God of Old. Those that did not, were impaled in the anus by The #1 Pin of Win.” —Son of a Bitch, daughter of Sam P.P. 4:2.8

DAY 38.

I came across, on my travels near the wharf, and the small island of Jam Clams, a settlement of Robots. They gazed upon me, my canine companion, and the sparse worshipers that have become part of my flock—and my magnificent loins.

*does a nut flex*

Ho yeah, that’s right ladies, it’s tight.


I had run out of a jar of peanut butter for—sandwich purposes.

[DO NOT ACCUSE ME OF NUTTING UP MY NUTTERS TO MY CANINE COMPANION. . .you, sick, mother trucking, disgusting fleas! I know you thought it! Do not say otherwise!]

Where was I? Oh yes, peanut butter. So I ventured into this town with my entourage and fancied a look through. Seeing as how I hadn’t come here before—and I hadn’t destroyed it already from my last—accident. I decided to properly probe the locals. Some resisted, others had no sensors, so sadly, they couldn’t tell.

Although, there was one that said, “YOUR DICK IS MINUSCULE!”

Well, my “minuscule dick” busted straight through his combat inhibitor, and out an eye. Not that it had many left in the first place, but that’s beside the point. The only good thing about robot loving is they’re already oiled up. It beats Crisco for sure.


Simon, one of the new lads has taken a liking to carrying my weight. My. . .canine companion shows disagreement with this one. Can’t say I don’t agree, but still a follower is a follower—more meat for the grinder (and in case we get hungry, that son of a bitch is going first. I mean this guy has the dinner rolls that roll on and on! He’s just asking to become the next prime choice.).

So, a few hours have come and gone since having entered this little robot haven. I came across a bowling alley, small, and of course, run the hell down. Inside, I found two robots probing one another, and “sharing data” as they called it. I think one squirted too. I mean, it just shot oil out of whatever port. I think it was a port anyways. . .

I was invited to a game of Bowling, which turned out to be a session of torture! It was the same practices that Malachi‘s disciples had done so long ago to some. . .friends of mine. I wasn’t very pleased, seeing as I absolutely hated that bastard since college. That’s another story, though.

“Hail, Nutcracker!” A round black robot yelled as it wound up and flung several hundred bowling balls down the lane.

“Enough!” I shouted, poised with my loin lasers of disintegration.

My minions—naturally—stood there and did jack shit to help. So, when those balls hurled through the air, and down that cruddy lane, I pew-pew’d hard and fast—making those balls bust, and turn to black ash.

Now, of course, the bots did not like this one bit. So, what is THE MIGHTY WASTELAND BEAR GOD TO DO!? I fucking hurled my balls of righteous furry fury across their bodies! I have to admit, I did get a little excited when one prodded me with its. . .shocker hand. I did spare that one. . .for later. You know, reasons.

This “prisoner” they had, was a darling of a woman. However, once I took note that they had something I already had. . .I had no choice but to nutter up my balls and obliterate them—INTO OBLIVION! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!


Now, as I have my sorry excuse of followers loot the rest of the town, I shall retire to my tent with my canine companion and this new robotic fun toy.

Yes, yes, this shall do quite nicely. Ooh! And there’s a new jar of peanut butter in my pack.


THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS!

The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God — Season Two — Episode Two: That’s No Space Station

Space. The final, but not really final, frontier. These are the sentences from episode two of The Diary Wasteland Bear God. There’s more to come!

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God LogoEpisode One: Parts One and Two


“There will be no mistakes this time.”

He said aloud, with the only audience being himself and the computer that listened obediently at his commands.

Blitzkrieg stared out the massive bay window that now looked upon the planet Earth. The moon base had been completed well ahead of schedule. As a “thanks” for their service, the remnants of The Toymaker’s forces were obliterated—discarded to the frigid void of space.

He grinned, his reflection mimicking in correspondence. He thought he was so clever. He had used his comrades, bided his time by rising the ranks, infiltrated The Toymaker, and seized control of the most powerful weapon ever made by mankind; more powerful than any nuclear weapon.

It was no mere moon anymore. It had been mined, artificial gravity implemented, terraformed and programmed for self-sustaining, complete recyclable materials, biodegradable waste, satellite TV, fiber optic internet, nukes from orbit, lasers, one gigantic laser, an open bar, buffet, and free Wi-Fi. It would be the instrument to usher in fear in the galaxy and would be the crowning achievement of mankind. None would be able to challenge him or this space stations capabilities.

Blitzkrieg was no fool. Unlike his predecessors and colleagues, he studied meticulously. He knew about the one-meter wide port that could destabilize the base, and cause it to blow up. As such, he had ordered the sealing of all holes that could, otherwise, be really bad news if it were to be sabotaged. Body scans, a wall, missiles, lasers, increased tariffs, bans and employing banhammer bots; these were just extra…precautions.

Yes, he would bring order and chaos to the galaxy, just as he always intended. Even if it made no logical sense in destroying worlds and ruling empty space. Logical fallacies. . .were some peoples’ strong suit. Regardless, he had plans. As such, he wanted to start by punishing the planet that birthed him a horrible past, and one unfaithful wretch that cheated on him with that asshole taxidermist named Daryl from New Georgia.

Blitzkrieg raised his voice, “Computer, set the laser to fire at Earth. Location, New Georgia.”

The computer paused, processing the request. “Acknowledged, Commander. Firing will commence in. . .three days.”

“What the?! Ugh, why does it have such a long charge time?” he facepalmed.

“Lack of human and, or, servants has made it harder for self-calculation, preparation, firing, etc. Commander.”

The console beeped, reading “one percent” on it. “I suppose I should manufacture some bots then. It is a new age, after all,” he grinned.

Yes, it was clear this time. Crystal clear.

“There will be no mistakes this time,” Blitzkrieg smiled to himself.

***

While Ben and the others all welcomed back the Bear God, a shiver ran up his spine. A disturbance that foreboded a very, very, very bad thing that was going to happen.


THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE POSTS!

Concepts and More: From the Beginning to the End [Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle Edition]

I wanted to share some of the sketchings by my cover artist, Chuck Regan. These were some concepts, sketch outs, etc. Everything that helped inspire the final product. Here, you will find some designs and plannings of how Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle came to be as it is.

It’s far from what it was incepted to be, which is not a bad thing. As you can see from the other covers, we’ve come a long way.

It didn’t feel quite right, though. So, then there was a realistic approach…

Lilah's Guide to Hoyle ebook/Kindle/digital copy cover

It seemed OK, but it didn’t give me a sense of “Wow, that’s my cover.” So, the adventure continued and thus the pieces that came together.

And here you see some pretty great designs. The title logo design at the bottom became what you see in the final rendition. Meanwhile, you can also see spade design on the sketch to the left of the title card, was implemented. There are pieces from each that make an appearance in the grand finale you see in the end. Speaking of “the end” I think it’s fair to showcase the final product.

Deluxe cover for "Lilah's Guide to Hoyle."

In my own opinion (and feeling) about this, is that it is a sexy cover and actually plays out the balance of power between Mullin and Lilah. Oh, you don’t know what I am talking about? Well, maybe you should pick up a copy of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle* and dig in. Then you can find out about Dana and Walter’s shenanigans, Lilah’s skills with her cards, and more.

It’s a fun story that’s just getting shared, and there’s still more to come for this series. As for my cover designer, Chuck, you’re a boss and one cool cat. I recommend checking out his portfolio, folks, oh and his stories, too.

Until next time, stay frosty.

RJM

 

*NOTE: This January 27th through the 30th, the ebook version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle will be discounted to $.99, then $1,99, before going back up to the original price of $2.99! This offer applies to Amazon.com customers. UK customers get their turn in February.

Prequel Title: Before Lilah

Before there was Lilah, there was the ordinary good girl…Lynaly.

A traumatic event transpires and leaves her distraught, broken, and looking elsewhere for answers.

At Death’s Door, in her mind, she meets Lilith. Someone who shares her loss, and the longing to be reunited with her long lost love.

Through a pact, Lilith is able to speak to Lynaly via telepathy and temporarily possess her using the blood jewels that Lilith once wore so many ages ago.

Things are set into motion. A secret order has demanded the head of Lynaly at all costs. A mysterious man in a wooden mask vows to stop Lilith from entering this world and to put an end to her plan of vengeance.

What will you do for the one you love?

What Will You do for the One You Love?

Before there was Lilah and the events that took place in Middleton, MA, there was the ordinary good girl…Lynaly. Deep in the heart of Mason, OH, who lived a very normal life.

However, that would soon all change…

After a catastrophic car accident claims the life of Sam, Lynaly’s boyfriend, and leaves her distraught, broken, and in a coma. She feels she can only find answers within the book her beloved and her were trying to obtain. At Death’s Door, in her mind, she meets the beautiful Lilith. Someone who shares her loss, and the longing to be reunited with her long lost love.

Through a pact, Lilith can speak to Lynaly via telepathy and temporarily possess her using the blood jewels that Lilith once wore so many ages ago.

Events are set into motion. A secret order has demanded the head of Lynaly at all costs. A mysterious man in a wooden mask vows to stop Lilith from entering this world and to put an end to her plan of vengeance. Even if that means hurting the girl whom Lilith uses as her vessel.

Armed with Lilith’s magic and her guardian, Sheila, Lynaly begins looking for the chance of a lifetime to resurrect the lost Samael.

The History in the Making…

Learn the origin of Lilith, Samael, Lynaly, Shiela, Atreyu and other characters that are explored in Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle. Learn the steps that were taken to solidify Lilith’s influence over Lynaly, and how dastardly Atreyu is.

While this novella is intended to be stand-alone, you’ll find rich development and lore on the characters that have stories to tell within each titled story.

You Know Her

You know of Lilah’s story and the Lynaly that was there. Ride along to see the lead up to the events of Middleton, MA. Learn of Lynaly’s lament.

Official title announcement, release date, and more information to come.