The Return of a God

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God returns this Fall with more entries and advancements to the overall story, plus the current arc.

Season Two will finish up, and then in Winter/Spring Season Three will debut.

Some characters will live. Some will die. Others may evolve, and others may become Mary-Sue characters because nothing within the universe quite makes sense.

All in all, it will be a fun adventure, and I look forward to sharing it with everyone.

If you’re new to the story and its concept, I recommend clicking the link above and getting a snack…or two…OK, maybe a few.


Writing (r)Evolution: Small Town vs The Big City

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

Ben and Big Al duke it out. This episode is the 30th episode of the Diary of The Wasteland Bear God series, and as such, the 2nd to last of the Writing (r)Evolution.

Hey, everyone and welcome back to the 30th episode of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God. This episode marks the near-conclusion of the Crimson Tyrant Arc, with tomorrow’s entry being the last.

So, yesterday, we had the evolution of Ben and transformation of Albrecht go down. Today is the battle and long pause after a good fist exchange.

There isn’t really much to go over. It’s just a lot of action and snide remarks.

There was a tower in Fallout 4 that (if I remember correctly) imagined would be a good spot for something epic to happen. . .but nothing ever did. It’s been awhile since I had played it. As such, I eventually broke away from using any Fallout 4 points of interest later on. It just became an imaginative beast of its own.

Also, yes, the title is named after the Journey song in reference. Thus, why it’s a small town vs. the big city. Ben is the small town. . .and Al is the big city. It’s just a thing. Don’t think too much of it. Feel free to sing along though.

While it was fun, and the series is far from being done. . .we will be ending the Writing (r)Evolution with the 31st episode. So, tomorrow. I have other projects to do and I am starting to shift my attention to those versus a story that takes up more time, and in a sense, gets rushed. I hate rushing. Because then you get something you’re not particularly fond of.

*looks at the anthology and Lodestone Files* Yep. Revisiting is important though. It reminds you of where you’ve come from, what you’ve done, and how far you’ve come.

Well, it’s about that time. . .

Until tomorrow,


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Thirty

[Don’t Stop. . .Believing]

For a few moments Albrecht and Ben only stared at each other. One-eyed the other, studying for weaknesses, their talents, their strengths, their—

“Oh for fuck’s sake. Are you guys going to lollygag and eye fuck each other, or are you going to get this show rolling? I could be finding my kid and wife. You know, the main quest I’m on?” The Bear God remarked.

“Your furry friend does have a point. I suppose we should end this charade of ours,” Albrecht added.

“By all means, go ahead, take the lead,” Ben replied.

Albrecht grinned fiercely. “That mistake shall be your undoing!”

In a speedy blur, Albrecht began his onslaught on the newly reformed Ben. His vicious attacks were sound and landed perfectly square on the Mirelurk-Ghoul hybrid’s face. For a moment, Albrecht halted his attacks to see how he was fairing against the former Mirelurk, having exploited his weakness last time. Ben cracked his neck and stared up at the Crimson Tyrant.

“Is that all?” Ben quipped.

“Grr, you half-pint filth!”Albrecht growled.

He resumed his series of attacks against Ben, this time flailing him about like a rag doll, and then hurling him up into the air, just to smack him back down. Ben’s body made an imprint on the concrete roof.

Meanwhile, as the two monstrosities fought, Sin conversed with Rubricon. “I think we should call him ‘Pretty-Boy Ben.’ What do you think?”

“Meh, doesn’t seem fitting that much. Maybe ‘Fuck Ugly Ben.’ That could work I think.” Rubricon added.

The Bear God stroked his furry beard. “I don’t know. In that sense, though we’d just call him that from the get go.”

“How about—”

“How about you all DIE!” Albrecht roared, hurling a massive red energy attack at the “innocent” bystanders.

Both of them cursed at the rude gesture, which they shrugged off as nothing.

“Whoa, whoa there, Sparky. We weren’t talking to you or about you.”

“Yeah, why don’t you go suck the barrel of a shotgun until it explodes against the back of your throat.”

“Your friends are quite incessant with their babbling; in that regard, I respect your silence, half-pint.” Albrecht complimented a grunting Ben as he dragged his face across the rooftop.

“What’s that? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you with your mouth full.” Albrecht chuckled. Now then, be a good lad and STAY DEAD!”

In a swift motion, Albrecht backhanded Ben off the roof, sending him crashing through several buildings until he came to a stop being embedded in one.

He gathered himself and dusted himself off. He looked across the way for Albrecht and locked on to his target. “My turn,” he said with a grin.

Unseen to the naked eye, Ben danced through the air with his inherited Disco dancing powers. He unleashed his own barrage of attacks, ones that were devastating to Albrecht. Each one more painful than the last, and each one brought down the life force of the Crimson Tyrant. Ben uppercutted Albrecht into the air and decided to show off a newly acquired skill. An azure light gathered around the claw as it opened wide, bubbles furiously gathered until a huge globule of water manifested. He aimed it high at the red hulk and fired it. The bubble water beam streaked high into the sky as it made contact with Albrecht, and sent him crashing through several buildings.

“Really? Did—did I just witness a bubble beam attack?” Sin remarked, questioning many things in his mind.

“Yes, I believe we just did,” Rubricon added, with a sigh.

“But it gets the job done. . . Now if only I had some vinegar, we could have had a douche ray,” Ben quipped.

The Bear God facepalmed while Rubricon had a laugh.

“I’ll admit it, that was a good one. At least we can be done here though.” Rubricon added.

There was no sign of Albrecht or anything that could give away some sort of hint that he was could be. . .maybe. . .probably. . .be still alive.

They waited for a few moments.

“Alright, I think we waited long enough. I say we go grab what we came for, get back downstairs, and get the hell out of this mess. Plus I am getting pretty hungry. . .and I could use a drink,” Sin stated.

“Fair enough, I think we can celebrate this as a victory,” Rubricon added, giving Ben a pat on the back. “Although, I don’t think I can ever think of you as the same. You’re so fucking weird to look at now.”

“You’ll most likely see a lot of changes but you’ll get used to them though,” Ben replied.

“You’re also more. . .serious. I wonder though, is it. . .too serious?” Rubricon inquired.

Ben smirked. “Does it count as rape if your one hand holds down the other, or is it consensual?”

“What. The. Fuck?” Rubricon said before starting to laugh.

“Great, now we have a philosophical killing machine that looks fuck ugly, and has a claw. . .just what we needed.” Sin sighed aloud.

As the trio began to start their trek back into the building to retrieve the last pieces of information regarding the viruses, rabbit cure, and (if any were still alive) the hostages, there was a loud rumble that shook the ground and the buildings around them.

Behind them, a figure blotted out the sun and cast his shadow over the trio. “Pitiful insects! I shall crush you underfoot!”

Sin sighed as he looked up at the now massive Albrecht. “Well, Ben. . .I guess you have your work cut out for you.”

Ben shrugged. “I’ve got all the time in the world to spare.”

“Well, go get ’em, tiger,” Rubricon motioned at Ben.


The Writing (r)Evolution: Evolution and Transformations

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

Albrecht decides to transform into a new killing machine. Meanwhile, Ben evolves into a new water type Pokemon. No, not really…but let’s just say that.

Hey, folks.

So here we are, back once again with another Writing (r)Evolution, with a revisit to The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

In this episode, (or entry, whatever you want to call it) we have the clash of titans: Albrecht Wesker, the Crimson Tyrant, and Ben, our beloved Mirelurk friend. Now, the reason why I gave Wesker the title of The Crimson Tyrant is mostly because of Tyrants have that lovely fleshy color…not really because of that, but because of Crimson Heads! Ah, yes, Crimson Heads…where the zombies get sent into a frenzy at the scent and taste of blood, become evolved into a fast moving, rage on your face, ripping you apart beasts. You gotta love Resident Evil, folks. Even if it’s to love to hate it. Also, Wesker. I mean, if I have to spell it out about Wesker, and why Wesker…I don’t know if we can be friends.

Mirelurks, on the other hand. They’re dag nasty, ugly misshapen crab beasts, mutated from tons of radiation. Enter our buddy, Ben. They have that lovely exploitable weakness—their face. Soft parts tend to be easy to exploit in a fight. As such, our crustacean friend here gets pounded like a piece of beef on a cutting board and a mallet. What? Did you expect a “prom night” and “virgin” analogy? Come now… I am better than that. *snicker*

Anyway, since we have Rubricon and the Bear God on standby, watching and seeing how things go down, we have their observation, remarks, and all that fun stuff. Then we have some transformation bits…because how can you not? Luckily, Albrecht turns out to be short on the transformation bit, takes a dump, and there are no nude transformation scenes. Cry about it. Do it. Too bad. Ben’s evolution mimics that of Pokémon, and such, he is now considered a water type. I made that up, and I don’t feel bad about it.

So, there you have it. Episode 29 has some good parts, and it rolls over into 30…and 31. Maybe a little more. Where the Writing (r)Evolution ends? Soon.

Until next time,


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-Nine

[Evil May Be Able to Evolve, but So Can I]

As Ben unleashed his anger upon Wesker, the “Crimson Tyrant,” he had become so blinded with rage that he couldn’t see he was bleeding out from within. He was dying, yes, but only being kept alive by the rage that lived within. He levitated in the air while controlling the raging winds, thunder, and lightning with his claws.

The Wasteland Bear God knew his Mirelurk companion was failing, and fast, however, to step in now would probably piss the Lord Mirelurk off incredibly.

He cracked a grin at the thought. “Alright, Ben, playtime’s over! It’s my turn!”

The winds howled louder and started to push the Bear God and Rubricon off the roof.

“I said he’s mine!” Ben roared; furious, and the skies let loose a roll of thunder and a tremendous bolt of lightning that struck the Crimson Tyrant.

With all the wind and debris, it was near impossible to see what was exactly going on in the eye of the storm, except that hopefully, Wesker would be dead soon, and they could maybe. . .move on to bigger things.

The moment of pondering came to an end, when Wesker erupted to where Ben was. Newly applied scars littered the brute’s body.

Albrecht yelled at the top of his lungs, “This has been all so very cute, my little lobster friend, however, this is your end!”

With a swift backhand to his face, Ben was sent crashing through the roof of the genetics building, down to the lobby on the ground floor. The Bear God’s Herald laid motionless. The rest of his life was knocked out.

Wesker smacked his lips hungrily. “I will rather enjoy devouring him. I don’t even have to get a pot boiling!”

“We’re still here, you know,” The Bear God commented.

“Oh, yes, yes, where are my manners. My apologies, gentlemen. I just got lost in the moment. I am sure you know how it is,” Wesker replied apologetically. “Your friend tried so hard—what a shame. Well, no sense in mourning his loss, for you two will be next!”

The last standing duo readied themselves for a battle of their wits, skills, and for their lives.

“I wouldn’t count on us being pushovers just yet, bud,” Rubricon stated.

Wesker grinned wickedly. “No, no, of course not. I expect you both to go all out and have a proper beat down.”

“Let’s get this going because I do have a laundry list of shit to do,” The Bear God commented.

“Eager to die I see. Very well, you can go first, but first. . .let me show you, gentlemen, what’s in store.” Wesker replied.

The crimson brute hunched himself over and clung to his sides—thick leathery wings sprouted, while a set of horns erupted from his forehead, each longer than one another, and each one more pointy than the other.

“Please don’t say, ‘me so horny,'” Sin commented.

“Oh, don’t worry. I am not even finished,” Wesker replied casually with a grin.

Next, a long tail erupted from behind him, its end adorned with spikes.

“Now?” Sin asked.

“Not yet. . .” Wesker grunted.

“How long is this going to take? Please don’t say several episodes. . .” Sin sighed.

After several moments of ‘changes’, the Crimson Tyrant stood before the mighty duo. He grew several feet more, had more razor-sharp claws on his hands, and elbows, while his feet seemed to mimic a Deathclaws.

“I have to say, that was the most boring transformation I’ve ever seen. Wouldn’t you agree, Rubricon?” Sin commented.

“I would have to. I mean, when we fought, that one time was even better,” Rubricon added.

Wesker’s face had a serious look on it. “Enough! I will kill you both, devour you and your pathetic crab friend, and then go out into the Wasteland and devour the rest of its denizens.”

“Uh oh, I guess Al here is getting upset with us. Look, pal, if you need to talk about some issues you’re having getting it up. . .” The Bear God verbally attacked the red brute.

“I am not your pal, bud.”

“Well, I ain’t your bud, bro.”

“I’m not your bro, friend.”

“I’m not your friend, Steve.”

“MY NAME IS ALBRECHT,” Wesker roared furiously.

“Ooh, I think we hit a nerve here, Rubricon! Watch out! We got a badass over here!” The Bear God chuckled.

Unbeknownst to them, far below, there had been a transformation taking place. Ben no longer was the Mirelurk he once was. . .

You could hear a whistling sound fast approaching the rooftop as if something was coming. . .

“I said, that asshole was MINE!” Ben roared, uppercutting the crimson beast in the jaw.

“Holy shit! What happened to you, Ben?” The Bear God looked at his former crab comrade.

Ben stood before them now. He was no longer the Mirelurk he once was. He was a hybrid of a Ghoul and Mirelurk, with his right arm as a mighty claw. He was above average than a typical man would be, but smaller in stature than his mighty Mirelurk form. His back was blackened, tough, and it came to wrap around his head—a new shell, if you will. No longer did he have the eyes of a Mirelurk, he had the black eyes of a Ghoul. To all of them on the rooftop, he was fuck ugly. Almost as bad as Wesker was at first, or any other Ghoul they had encountered.

“I’ve evolved,” he said.

“The fuck is this? Pokemon now?” Sin inquired.

“Nope. It’s just how I work. You’ll see more, in time.” Ben replied.

He turned his gaze to Wesker, “As for you. . .I told you I was gonna tear your soul out. . .I mean to see to it.”

Wesker grinned malevolently. “I can’t wait to see you try, small fry.”


The Writing Style (R)Evolution: The Bear God, The Super Mutant Barbarian King, and Derp

Action, comedy, dystopian, raunchy, crazy, sexy. . .cool. It’s the mashup: The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God. The Bear God and friends versus Synths, Hybrids, Super Mutants and get called “Derpy” a lot. Bring a towel, folks. It’s getting moist.

Good day, everyone, and welcome to the show.

In this episode of Writing Evolution (viva la revolucion!) of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God, as we are about to wrap up the “Space Visitor” story arc.

Here, we are introduced to Kronam, a Super Mutant Barbarian. Yes, yes he is the Wasteland incarnation of the one, the only, Conan. What can I say? I’m a sucker for classics, and I felt that a Super Mutant as Conan would be intense. Thus, he was implemented.

We also have Commander Cirk aka Number Two get kidnapped. The ending, though of this entry is humorous as balls to me. Why? Because, imagine Data from Star Trek just reading something that’s life threatening and potentially hazardous to the rest of the crew, or a friend’s life is in danger. . .and him going “Nope. Nope. Nope.”

You also have the mentioning of 88 MPH. Yeah, that’s right. We are going there. We went there. It is in there. Prego.

All in all, this arc was one of my favorites and it is this gap, that really makes this series the fun it is and represents. The entries are now just a story being told. The Maker is known and present, the 4th Wall is realized, broken, and turned into a window. . .or revolving door.

There are more fun (and fast) times at DWBG, folks. More tomorrow.

Until then, stay frosty.


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-One

[Heavy Reaching and Heavy Handling]

As Super Mutants poured out onto the streets, the destructive trio. . .became excited. . .mostly Ben though.

“Do—do we need to see about getting you fixed or something, Ben?” The Mighty Bear God inquired.

“What? I’m just happy to destroy things. Is that wrong of me?” Ben replied.

“No, it’s just. . .a little worrisome,” replied The Bear God.

Rubricon cleared his throat loud and obnoxiously. “Look, I know you’re both joined at the hip, and love to touch each other at night, but we have an ever growing problem here. . .”

The Bear God and Crab Lord looked at him. “You’re just jealous, Fluff Bunny.”

Rubricon rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

The Mutants, Synths and the Hybrids finally stopped coming out. The trio was completely surrounded. Had they been anything but normal, they surely would be done for. . .so they should be thankful for that, and thankful that they weren’t being wiped off the face of the earth.

The Mighty Bear God rolled his eyes.

Thunderous footsteps could be heard, fast approaching them—the ground trembling each step. The brutes made way for their monstrous leader.

He was heavily armed with a massive broadsword, a Gatling gun, and adorned with a metal loincloth around his waist. He had mechanical attachments and appendages all over his person. Wires and metal fused parts together all over his body. He mostly resembled machine more than Mutant. All you could see that was natural. . .maybe. . .was the red in his eyes, and the drool that ran down his chin. He spoke almost as loud as he did in person than he did over the P.A. system.

“You fools thought you had killed us all? You dumb. DUMB! Just like humans, all dumb, no skill.” Saliva spewed with each spoken word.

He laughed, loud and obnoxious, which resulted in his surrounding allies laughing hysterically. . .with their derpy laugh, and stupid grin.

“So you’re the big guy who was running his mouth, huh?” The Mighty Bear God asked.

“I am Kronam, Mutant Barbarian! You’ve trespassed on my turf—my kingdom—and slew my people. . .and your sentence. . .IS DEATH!”

Rubricon made a few hand gestures to the Mutant King. “Well, we are the Three Huevos, and we’ve come to drop our nuts on your face. Hoo!” Rubricon mocked and finished with a grand hip thrust.

“You’re derpy, all derpy! You will all die now!” Kronam roared.

On his mark, Kronam ordered the packs of Mutants, Synths, and Hybrids to attack the trio.

Meanwhile, the space crew continued to observe the spectacle from afar. The space captain wagered joining the fight with the three heroes. . .and since several of his crew were growing restless; his ‘Number Two’ in particular.

“I am. . .so. . .booooooooooored,” whined the Number Two.

“Commander, I disagree with the leading of an assault that could easily annihilate us, and is already in favorable odds in the hands of those three. If we fight, we will surely die,” Zeta stated.

The Captain raised his hands in attempts to quell his personnel. “Patience, everyone. I am sure once this battle is over, we can start a way of getting back to our timeline, and to the ship. Any theories, Zeta?”

“Only if we were to perhaps scrap some of these old vehicles, and make a modified version. We could then equip it with some thrusters, and use it to get back to our future.” Zeta responded.

“Speed needed,” asked the Captain.

“In this timeline. . .I calculate approximately 88 MPH.” Zeta replied.

“OH COME ON!” yelled the Bear God from afar. “You fucking suck! Suck, suck, suck, suck, suuuuuuuuuuck!”

“Shut up! I can do whatever I want,” The Maker’s voice boomed overhead.

Everyone looked up to the sky, while the Bear God spat and pissed on the ground.

“Do you want to die for real? Permanently? Then shut up, and stop being a little bitch,” The Maker stated.

A loud sigh and mumbling could be heard as The Maker seemed to have. . .gone away.

“Dick,” The Bear God mumbled, as he stepped on a Hybrid’s head, causing it to burst into an oily and bloody mess.

While all eyes were on the fight, and The Bear God’s disgust, there was a brief commotion by the space crew. They all looked upon Number Two, who was ready for some action.

Number Two looked at his crewmates. “Maybe we could blow the area up underneath them all. We could use the old reactor, or whatever it is that’s powering them all.”

“That was probably the only time you said something without pausing. I. . .am scared.” One of the crewmembers remarked.

“I. . .am. . .sorry. I was. . .just so. . .excited,” Number Two replied.

“Whew. I thought we were losing you for a second there. Anyway, excellent idea Number Two. Make it so.” Said the Captain.

Number Two and Zeta left to head for the underground reactor that powered the Hyrbrids. . .supposedly. Meanwhile, the trio danced a destructive dance, destroying significant amounts of Hybrids.

Moments later, a countdown could be heard, and many of the Hybrids, Mutants, and Synths started to panic.

“Fools! Who didn’t guard the reactor?!” Kronam yelled.

“You told us all to come out and kill these, fools, as you said,” A Super Mutant replied.

“Argh! Derpy! Derpy, derpy, derpy, derpy!” Kronam stammered, stomping his foot as the countdown neared zero. “Derpy, derpy, derpy—“

The square ignited into an inferno and then sank down into the ground, causing most of the Hybrids to fall in, explode, or be powered down. The Bear God and the others watched on nearby, with Ben having a sad expression [?] on his face.

“But. . .I wanted to kill more. . .”

“Me too, Ben, me too,” Sin sighed.

Meanwhile, at the space crew camp, Zeta returned. . .alone. . .and slightly sad.

“Where’s Number Two, Zeta?” The Captain asked.

“Dead, I’m afraid,” Zeta replied.

“How,” the Captain inquired.

“He said something about “I have to do this. It will be my greatest achievement. . .and they will all remember my bravery, and they shall posthumously promote me to captain,” and then he blew up in the reactor.” Zeta recalled the events.

The Captain listened intently, and then replied, “I see. Well, he was an OK soldier. I doubt the academy will do so. . .but I’ll write a hell of a report. For now, let’s get the hell out of here, build our replacement ship [to get back to the ship]. . .make it so.”

“Yes, Captain,” Zeta replied.

As Zeta readied to leave and begin construction on the machine, he came across Number Two’s communicator. He played the message it contained.

“Zeta. . .I have been. . .captured. I don’t. . .know how. . .don’t know where. It’s too. . .dark. They are probing me. I kind of. . .liked it. . .at first. . .but now there’s bleeding. . .and it hurts when I pee. Tell the Captain. . .they’ve sent a Synth imposter. . .of me, Commander Cirk.”

Zeta crushed the communicator in his hand. “Yeah, fuck that shit.”


The Mashup: Getting Sexy, Breaking Balls, and Taking Names

Action, comedy, dystopian, raunchy, crazy, sexy. . .The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God mashup series. It’s the Bear God and friends versus the Super Mutants and Synths in an all out brawl, three-way, space guest, ball bashing fiasco—it’s service with a smile.

Good day, everyone.

Hectic times are fast approaching and well, it is what it is. That’s beside the point, though. Now, it’s a new (albeit, continuation. . .then again, they are all continuations of the story) segment of Writing Evolution (and Stylings) of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

We have our cameos of “Star Trek” characters, and their observance of this. . .new Earth. Time travel and space is nothing new for those guys. It just happens. The Bear God is not a people person, let alone, does he like having “friends” about him. As such, he’s slowly developing a friendship with his Mirelurk hatchling companion, and old friend (and brother-in-law), Rubricon. There are some stiff competition and enjoyment here in this episode. It’s definitely one of my favorite episodes I did, and well, 8/10, would read again. Honestly, I rather you just read it and get a chuckle or so off. Go ahead, shake your head in the cheesiness, and corniness.

Let me reiterate: The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God is a mashup if I didn’t make that clear. A parody. I giant parody. It’s taking all (if not most) of the big hitters out there and condensing them into a buffet for your eyes to gobble up. Go ahead, be a glutton. They’re not empty calories, it’s gluten free, no sugar, no MSG, 100% organic, and no fucks and/or shits were given.

Also, are you ready to sing the DOOM! song? If you’re an Invader Zim fan, well, you will know it. 😉

Tune in next time, to read on the continuation adventure of our intrepid heroes, and the destruction they cause.

Until then,


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty

[Coming Out. . .of the Urban Woodwork]

The Captain continued recording the spectacle. “Here we are observing the destruction of these. . .green skinned humanoids. . .getting utterly destroyed by this alleged Bear God and his compatriots.”

A Super Mutant crept up behind the observing space crew, “Puny humans! You dinner! You—”

A red laser beam disintegrated the brute. The crew looked back at The Bear God. “You were to hide. . .in a good hiding place, The Bear God yelled.

“We just wanted to watch. . .and take notes,” replied the space captain.

“Do it somewhere else then!” Rubricon quipped back.

Ben was humming a tune, while he went about massacring the Mutants and their hounds.

Apparently, it’s probably the only time he is happy. . .when he’s killing people, things. . .I like the kid. Sin smiled at the thought.

A loud Super Mutant’s voice boomed over a loudspeaker. “Derpy Bear God! We knew you come! Your face will meet my fist! Kill them all! Let none survive!”

More and more Super Mutants poured out from the surrounding buildings.

The Mighty Bear God observed; getting excited at the spectacle. “Cheese and rice, they’re like cockroaches—and rabbits!”

“32. . .33. . .34. . .” Rubricon remarked, while Ben took note and upped the ante.

“47, 48, 53, old man-rabbit, you’re getting left in the dust,” Ben yelled.

Rubricon shrugged. “Bet you haven’t seen this before though, Crabby.” Rubricon snapped his fingers, and from the sky there rained down ice lances, impaling assorted Super Mutants and their hounds.

Ben gazed in awe. “No. . .I haven’t.”

The Mighty Bear God yawned. “Ladies, if you’re done jerking one another. . .this is how you do it.”

A swarm of Super Mutants rushed the Bear God; a suicide bomber in its midst. A scope came down over his eye as he pinpointed the bomber. He aimed with his shoulder mounted Gatling gun. He fired. . . “WHAT THE FUCK!” In an enormous explosion, the Super Mutant bomber blew up, along with the rest of its squadron.

“One shot. Zero effort.” Sin smirked.

“No scope or it doesn’t count,” Quipped Rubricon.

“Oh, you got told!” Ben laughed, as he smashed some Super Mutant heads together, erupting in a bloody mess.

Sin sighed, “Fine. . .” He leapt high in the air until he was out of sight.

“He. . .can fly?” Ben inquired.

“Ha! Derpy Bear God run away!” The Super Mutant laughed over the PA system.

“Yeah, he can do a lot of things. . .” Rubricon replied.

“Is. . .he going to level the entire area?” Ben asked.

“Yep, probably.”

Ben grew a little uneasy. “Where we are?”


Some from the space crew began to panic. “OH GOD HE’LL KILL US ALL!”

“Yeah, you may want to just start running away. . .probably by a few blocks.” Rubricon stated.

“What about you? Aren’t you going to get out of here?” Ben asked.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure—”

The Bear God could be heard falling from the sky, burning bright as he plummeted. “Dropping it like it’s hot! Woooooo—”

Far away, a massive explosion could be seen as the Mighty Bear God made impact with the town square.

As the smoke cleared in the square, bodies were either turned to ash, “goo”ified, or turned into a bloody pulp. Buildings were reduced to absolute rubble, and a massive crater was left in the middle of it all.

“Holy shit. . .that. . .was awesome!” Ben clacked his claws.

Rubricon lowered his shield and shrugged. “It was alright.”

Sin stood up and dusted himself off. “I win,” he smiled brightly.

A little far off from the destructive trio, the space crew reached their feet and surveyed the damage.

“My word. . .such destruction!” The Captain remarked.

The yellow-skinned android analyzed the data. “Captain, by my calculations, all the ‘Mutant’s’ are destroyed. However. . .”

“What. .  .do you mean. . .’however,’ Zeta?” Remarked ‘Number Two’

Zeta paused. “However, I do believe there are more coming. . .”

“Do you think that they know it?” Inquired the Captain.

“No. . .but I think they’re more than capable. We can just wait here and observe safely from afar, as it will result in no casualties, and provide optimum viewing pleasure,” Zeta stated.

The Captain acknowledged. “Understood. Make it so.”

Right then, as the crew set to watch the show continue on, a stray laser beam struck the side of a building, causing a small pebble to strike a red shirt uniformed crew member.

In an overly dramatized death and death wail, the crewman cried “AH!” The crewman fell to the ground, dead.

“Perhaps. . .minimum casualties. . .and that we should not wear any red shirts,” stated Zeta.

“Make it so,” said the Captain.

Meanwhile, the trio of pure destruction celebrated in their latest victory. However, beneath them there lurked a new threat to their survival. . .

“Stupid fools! You think we that easy to kill! PAH! We never die! We are INVINCIBLE,” the Super Mutant shouted over the speaker.

“We can’t see you if you’re invisible. . .you must be chicken then. Too scared to fight us lowly ‘fools,'” The Bear God replied aloud.

“Argh! I said INVINCIBLE, not invisible you derpy bear,” the Mutant screamed. “Go get them!”

Hatches around the trio began to fly open, as Synths, Super Mutants and their hounds, and modified Super Mutant / Synth hybrids began to strike at them.

“Well. . .this just got interesting.” said Rubricon.

“Oh boy! It’d be a good time for the DOOM song!” Ben piped; jumping up and down in excitement.

“. . .or Black Betty. . .or even Ballroom Blitz,” Sin suggested.

Over the PA system came on a song. . .while the Mutant’s leader yelled angrily as to who put it on. Back with the space crew, the Captain’s ‘number three’ snickered to himself.

“Nicely done, Number Three.” Regarded the Captain.


When Out of This World Characters Interact With Boring Characters

What happens when you bring in out of this world characters into a dystopian, action, comedy? You get The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God mashup series.

Good day, everyone.

I hope you are doing well, and if you’re not, well. . .I am sorry you are not. In any case, it’s time for some visitation rights and sex bot sightings in our next Writing Evolution of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

We are 19 episodes in thus far. We have seen some extreme sides of raunchy, and then the lightening of that to where we are now. We also have a cameo of space proportions. What does that mean?

I love space. I love the big black void that encompasses us all in its cold stomach. I love Star Wars and Star Trek. Thus, I felt like throwing in some Trek. I figured I’d save Star Wars later. I mean, Science Fiction is pretty intense. And no, I do not just stop there. It’s a massive mashup after all, not just in video games, but also other franchises. Rawr.

Usually, when you have cameos or bring in other characters from something, it’s when the original show, remake, whatever, is hurting and needs to generate either:

  1. Money.
  2. Presence.
  3. Be revived.
  4. Cash grab.
  5. Cross-promotion.
  6. Just because.

So, I did number 6 on that list. I also felt like experimenting, since I wondered, “What would it be like if we had Star Trek in Fallout 4 and World of Warcraft?” Well, bam. It happened.

It’s also where I have no holotape. It’s an opening much like a typical Star Trek episode, where the captain is doing their “Captain’s Log” deal.

It’s a new story arch, all part of the overarching one, and it’s entertaining at least. Check back tomorrow for more out of this world good gravy.

Until next time,


The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo

The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Nineteen

[We Have Company]

“Captain’s log, Stardate 2278—”

“Ahem, Captain, that’s. . .still the earth’s measurement.”

“Huh? What? Well maybe if you’d let me finish, Number Three. Now I have to start all over again.” The Captain smacked his ‘Number Three’ upside the head.

The Captain readied his recording device again. “Captain’s log, Stardate 2278.64. We’ve apparently landed on an alternate Earth where there’s hardly any humans remaining, and most of the world has fallen subject to nuclear warfare some time ago.”

A yellow tinted, stiff man knelt down and recorded samples of the soil. “By my calculations, around two hundred years ago, sir.”

“Hmm. . .I see.” The Captain surveyed the land and saw a sign in red prominent letters: Beware! The Wasteland Bear God watches you! “Interesting. There seems to be some sort of creature revered as a god amongst men.”

A guttural growl was heard from behind them, “That. . .would be me.” The Mighty Wasteland Bear God erected and looked over the foreign intruders one by one.

“I have encountered who the indigenous civilization regard as The Wasteland Bear God. He is as the legends revere, and then some.” The Captain spoke calmly and profound with his ‘discovery’.

The Bear God sighed, “Are we really going to go through with this?” He grunted in disgust. “I mean, c’mon. . .first aliens, and now this? Can’t you do anything creative? Do you really think people give a damn about me, let alone my story, or that of anyone else you throw in?”

“I beg your pardon?! I am, by all accounts, original, you filthy cur!” Snapped the Captain.

“Not you, buddy. I’m talking to someone else. . .and they know damn well what I am talking about,” remarked The Bear God.

“Look, how about you run with it? We need better ratings, more viewers, and all that jazz,” said an ominous voice aloud, sending the foreign crew to shudder in fear.

“Who the hell is that?!” Said the space captain.

“It’s just The Maker, don’t worry about that cunt. Really though, you should just leave. There’s enough shit going on here as it is,” said The Bear God.

“We’re merely here to observe this planet. It differs from our timeline by a great deal. . .and plus we’re a little stranded,” said the Captain.

“I see. Well, I guess that’s OK, but if you get in the way. . .” Sin snarled.

“Rest assured, sir, you’ll hardly even notice us here.” The space captain promised.

“Right. . .whatever,” said The Bear God

Along their way, Sin took note of a base of Super Mutants and Synths coexisting. . .or having a deal. Something. Rubricon, Ben, and The Mighty Bear God moved in to investigate.

“Slowly and quietly, we are going to the base where baddies are holding up,” whispered the space captain.

“Captain, I am picking up abnormal readings from the area. It’d be best to avoid the area and observe from afar,” said his yellow-skinned crewmate.

“I am readying my phasers to stun, sir,” said the Captain’s Head of Security.

“Dammit, Tim! I am a doctor, not a fighter,” stated the Doctor.

“Quiet. . .all. . .of you. Let the Captain. . .decide what we. . .should. . .do,” stated his ‘number two’.

Sin facepalmed hard. “How about you guys stay the hell back and let the professionals take care of this? OK?”

“Very well, I shall leave you. . .to this mess,” said Tim, the space captain.

The space crew set off for a more suiting hiding location.

“I seriously can’t stand the new guys,” The Bear God growled.

“Right? They think that with all that technological whiz biz they’re better than us? Ha! We’d crush them like ants,” said Rubricon.

“Can’t we just kill them off? Something?” Ben whined.

“No. . .no, Ben. . .we’ll just let them do their own thing. . .plus The Maker wants to promote it. . .or something. Fucking idiot.”

“I heard that!” said The Maker.

Of course, The Maker not realizing that his voice was so booming. . .alerted the baddies that were hold up in their base. . .because he’s smart like that.

“Way. To. Fucking. Go,” sighed Sin.

“Time to go in guns blazing?” Rubricon motioned.

“Why not.” Sin Sighed. “Ben, roll out!”

Ben tucked himself into a tight wrecking ball and set off to throw himself into the fray. “TODAY’S A GOOD DAY TO DIE,” he yelled.


The Wasteland Bear God’s Reputation Guide to Friendship: Get Out of My Sight

We continue with another writing and style evolution entry of the dystopian/post-apocalyptic action comedy mess that is The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

This time, things will be different. This time, Rubricon and The Bear God are. . .brothers? What the hell? I guess we’ll find out as we go. For now, they’re friends again.

Happy Friday, folks.

Well, to those that get to enjoy the weekend. If you are working through it, keep it up tiger (tigress). I’m proud of you. You can do this!

Anyway, we are back with another edition of Writing Evolution with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God. This time, two enemies, who were once friends. So the frenemies. . .become friends again, and put aside their differences for the greater good. The Greater Good. Sorry. Habit.

We have The Bear God blowing up Rubricon over and over, with Rubri being put back together instantly via The Maker. Eventually, it gets boring. . .and messy.

Then we see that The Bear God’s woman and cub are alive—possibly—and that there is a long quest chain involved. This was the touch of World of Warcraft I felt like adding in here. It’s a grind. You grind. Hard. For hours, days, weeks. Whether it’s gear or reputation. I felt it was appropriate to mention it. Bite me.

We see a bit of tension and plotting with our Mirelurk friend, Ben. We have The Bear God lay down the law and begin their grand quest of greatness. Trust me. It’s pretty great. Absurd, yes, but pretty great.

We also have a mysterious figure who is lying in wait. Who is it? What is it? It’s not Batman. It’s clear it’s an enemy of The Bear God. Maybe the Anti-Bear God? We’ll see as time goes on.

This is the first time that there is no holotape script or such mechanics involved. Thus, this is the where I began to think of just telling it as a story versus an entry or the lot. Juggling ideas. Juggling time. Writing and juggling are not recommended. You can get stabbed in the eye and it hurts. Or elsewhere. Uch.

Well, folks, there will be more entries to be shared next week. I wish you all a great weekend.

Until next time. . .


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Eighteen

[A Whole Lot of Kaboom!]

“What!? He did this?! Sin bellowed.

Rubricon laughed in retaliation. “Yes, yes, he did. You see, I thought of the plotting to beat you senseless. . . maybe to an inch of your life, or along those lines. Hell, I am more than capable. However, I believe in—”

In an instant, Sin destroyed Rubricon. . .again. Shortly thereafter, Rubricon reformed, getting irritated with his “friend”.

“Would you stop—” Again, Rubricon was interrupted by being blown up. Again. And again.

Several moments passed with Sin destroying Rubricon repetitively. Eventually, The Mighty Bear God grew tired fo destroying the would-be rabbit-man.

“Are you done?” Rubricon inquired.

Sin sighed. “I thought out of all those ways of killing you, doing the same to the Black Council members.” His eyes fell to the scarred Wasteland. “It won’t bring them back, though. I guess it was fun. . .to an extent. . .for me.”

Rubricon sighed at the Bear God. “Would you listen to me? They’re alive. Alive. Both of them. Granted, I don’t know really about Helk, but I am certain of Dante.”

Sin looked up at Rubricon. “If what you say is true, then where do I have to go?”

“That’s. . .where it gets tricky, I’m afraid. It’s a chain quest—a long one—and you’ll have to gain a certain amount of reputation [and have exalted standing] with the Brotherhood of Aluminum. And then, we’ll have to travel to Mount Schmoo, cast the Nuclear Bomb of Damnation into it, and then. . .” Rubricon paced, telling the elaborate quest of all quests to The Mighty Bear God.

Sin yawned and sat down. “This is going to be very, very, very long. . .isn’t it?”

Rubricon nodded while The Maker reaffirmed it via telepathy. “You may want to go get some snacks.”

The Mighty Bear God sighed again. “Fuck. My. Life.”

The next day, Rubricon ventured with the flock, The Mighty Bear God, and Ben. Ben eyed him, studying him. . .

He came to the Bear God, voicing his distrust of the newfound companion.

“He’s fine, Ben.” Sin growled.

“Yeah, you say that now, but. . .”

Sin stopped walking and looked to Ben. “Look, if I say he’s fine, he’s fine. After all, you’re traveling with me, and you’ve already voiced your. . .agenda. . .to me.”

Ben looked down at the ground, then around the area. “I—I, uh, yeah. I see your point.”

“Good. Then it’s settled. He travels with us, no questions asked. If there’s a problem, you answer to me. Got it? That goes for all of you.”

The flock didn’t care anyway. Especially, the new dame who already was eyeing him all over. Ben nodded in agreement, and with that, they all started to set off.

Ben lagged behind the group to. . .collect his thoughts, or so he said.

“I’ll have to keep my distance and go along with this. . .course of action. For now. Unless I get the right moment, and then I’ll take the moment and seize the opportunity to end you and your “friend.” Then—then I shall have my revenge. Then I will be the Wasteland God, and all will bow before me!”

“That’s cute and all, Ben, but will you shut the hell up and hurry up? We’ve got a pack of Super Mutants that need killing,” Sin yelled back.

“Ooh goody,” Ben rubbed his claws together, and shouted, “coming!”

Ben curled up into a ball and rolled towards the mass of Super Mutants, where yelling and explosions were heard.

In the alleyway, there laid a shadow in wait. Its color-changing eyes fluctuated from yellow to orange to red.

“Yes, pit one another against the other. You’ll destroy each other until the three of you remain. Then I’ll destroy you, Bear God, and I shall take your mantle away. For now, I’ll exploit your precious pet, and have you destroyed from the inside out.”

The shade slinked away back into the alleyway and retreated into the darkness from whence it came, and stray missiles struck where it once stood.

Assholes, the whole lot of them! I’ll get them yet. Oh, yes.