What’s New?

Hey, folks.

RJM here, dropping a quick line about some new stuff coming up.

Paperback copies of the following titles will be soon available on Amazon:

  • The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows
  • The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World
  • Abnormal Side Effects

Pre-orders for The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will open up soon. It will have a placeholder image/cover, for now, since it is being redone.

There will be digital and paperback copies available. However, hardcover copies will be extremely limited to 13. These will be signed, numbered, and include an extra snippet following the story.

There will also be a new anthology dubbed Abnormal Side Effects: Refill. This collection will have everything that the first did not. There will be a compiled version where the two are one and via box set.

More projects are underway, and there are also plans to cover BlizzCon 2017. Since it will be a first-time experience, it’ll be documented and reported on. It’s something I am excited to share.

But really… Vacation! Everyone needs some R & R. It’s recommended. If I were a doctor, I’d prescribe it with a severe amount of refills…and probably be out of practice rather quickly.

That’s all for now. I’ll be sharing some other goodies soon enough.

Until next time,

RJM

Coming This Fall—November in Fact

Hey, folks.

So, we’re not doing a cover reveal yet…but The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal is finished.

I wanted to share an excerpt from our beloved suicidalist on one of his many escapades. In addition, here are some other points to address.Paperback may be the only print format available—at first. If anything, there would just be a limited amount of hardcovers, which would include a little something extra about Bob. If you like the story and how it goes, trust me, it’s something you’ll love.

Format: Paperback may be the only print format available—at first. If anything, there would just be a limited amount of hardcovers, which would include a little something extra about Bob. If you like the story and how it goes, trust me, it’s something you’ll love. As always, if you buy a print copy, you get a digital copy for free with us (and Amazon).

Pricing: $3 flat. It could be less or it could be about the same. The chances are high that it’ll just be $3 flat.

Cover: It’s gonna be sexy. At least in our eyes.

Surprise! If you want a digital version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for free, just go to the store, set out to buy it, and enter in the coupon LILAHFREE. Boom. Done. You can then download it as many times as you want…or even gift it.

You can also nab The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows and Abnormal Side Effects for free too.

Anywho, without further ado… Here’s a brief excerpt from The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal.


Episode One: The Chronic Suicidal

Have you ever had those moments where you’re sitting there (or hell, driving) and just thinking, “Man, I could totally kill myself right now.” Or maybe—and work with me here—you’re sitting at the dinner table with your family. You know, your spouse, perhaps your parents, kids, siblings, whatever. Then the moment you break bread you’re just like, “Fuck it!” You slam your palms down (or fists, or do a table flip, I don’t fucking know), grab that steak knife, and . . . slit. You know? Slit your own throat? Literally. Right there. At the dinner table. You got blood spraying, gushing out, dripping down your clothes, all over the furniture, the walls, the fine China, the mashed potatoes, on your folks, in your kid’s eye.

Well, if you’ve ever had moments like these, where you’re compelled to do the unthinkable, you’re not alone. Hell, I do it all the time. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bob Barnen, and I am a chronic suicidal.

Christ, it sounds like I’m at some AA meeting, or in the confessional or something. Yeah, well, I’m not. The truth is, I dunno where I am. I mean, I do, I just don’t know where exactly I am. I guess I could be dead, dreaming, in a coma. I tried asking others: my wife, my kids, my folks, my friends—hell, even my dog! No one has a goddamn clue what the hell is going on. What I do know is this: every time I commit suicide, I’m put right back in bed, safe and cozy.

I guess I could start by telling you about the first time I had the impulse, and why I did what I did.

Now, lemme tell ya, I had no regrets. Not even a letter. I loved my family, an’ hell, I still do. It wasn’t their fault that I wanted to end it. I was just done. Just done with life. I couldn’t handle the stress of a transfer out of state, of meeting people who were culturally different, and honestly, of not knowing a single goddamn person. I mean sure, the pay was good, yeah, but what good is the pay when you bust your balls and ask all the boys at the cooler—“Hey, Pete, Bill, Shaun, guy—to get a drink after work and don’t get a single goddamn word in reply? Instead, they give you this look like, who the fuck are you? Oh, it’s the new guy! Bah, fuck ’em. I’ll tell you what, those sons of bitches who say that they’re there “if you need help,” or some “reasonable accommodation,” or their “door is always open,” they’re lying sons of bitches. They don’t care about you. They don’t care about no one except their own goddamn selves and their fat fucking wallets.

I do apologize, I seemed to have run off there.

So here’s the deal: job transfer out of state. I’m a desk jockey at a firm that deals the stock market. Been married for thirteen years, four kids. I have a nice house, decent pay, fucked-up neighbors. I got a car, dog, and some cats. What’s there to be wrong? Probably absolutely nothing, and I get that. What happened was pretty simple. I jumped. I jumped right off the roof of the office building right smack onto the cars and curb below. I say “and curb” because I think—I’m pretty sure at least—that my feet snapped on it and shattered. I dunno. I can’t say I remember anything other than a giant forceful knockout that, well, knocked the shit out of me.

You might be asking, “What were your final thoughts?” Well, for starters: “Oh shit, oh shit, bad idea, bad idea.” Followed by, “I’m flying!” Then, “Holy shit the ground is coming up fast.” Next, “Why am I doing this? Who’s going to take care of the kids, and my wife? What the hell am I doing?” And then, some guilt, anger, sadness, love, happiness. Finally, nothing. Pow! Lights out.

Now, hindsight being twenty-twenty, yeah, it was pretty fucking stupid. Do I regret it? Yes and no. Yes, because I was dumb to leave my family alone in this fucked-up world. And no because, well, I can’t die. OK, I can die, but I can’t die. I’m like Bill fucking Murray in an extreme, uncensored version of Groundhog Day, but it’s been going on now for . . . fuck if I know. Either way, nothings working, and truth be told, I’ve started to actually enjoy it. If this is how I get to spend the rest of my days, so be it, I guess. I get to see my wife, my kids; that’s good enough for me. Still, I can’t shake the thought of there being more to this. For now, I’ll just get dressed.

By the way, if you haven’t figured it out yet—I recently killed myself at the dinner table.

—END EXCERPT—


So there you have it, folks. I hope you enjoyed this sampling of Bob’s meaty loins.

Until next time,

— RJM and Friends

Updates and Such

Hey, folks.

It’s been a little while, hasn’t it? When life happens, you learn to adapt. There’s a lot going but it’s all for the greater good.

So, what’s to share?

We’re wrapping up production on The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal.

Meanwhile, the multipart conclusion of Johnny Nightwalker will be coming up this evening.

Part three of The Lodestone Files is being worked on, along with many other projects.

You can also check out books one and two of the series in the shop.

So, as for the delay in things…

It’s also a good idea to take a break, look over things, then get back at it, because let’s face it; nothing ever gets done on its own.

Keep at what you do and make sure YOU love what you do. Especially, when it comes to writing. I know and am aware not many folks give a damn what I do or write, but that’s OK. I write for me. An audience of one, is better than an audience of none.

Do stick around for more things to come.

Until next time,

RJM

Updates and Other Things

Hey, Folks.

I thought I’d do some updates of what is slated to come out for the Summer and rest of the year. What does that entail? Let’s list it out!

  • The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal in all formats.

This means paperback, hardcover, and digital. Digital will be up first and priced at $2.99 on Amazon and right here at home. Purchase links will be available two weeks before widespread public release on A.B.Normal Publishing. Print editions will follow simultaneous of the Kindle release.

  • The Conclusion of Johnny Nightwalker

This story will be wrapped up soon. We can then wave goodbye to one of our suburban heroes for good…or maybe not. Who knows?

  • Lynaly’s Requiem

The Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle prequel is being edited, and well, I want to do more additions to it. That’s the beauty of working on something you love (and when it’s in your hands). The Lodestone Files and Abnormal Side Effects…those will be retouched (or remastered) with extras. More on that below.

Anyway, I will release this novella at $0.99 when it is finished. Spring/Summer 2018 release pending extra curricular activity. There will be a new edition where both stories (Lynaly & Lilah’s) are as they were supposed to be… One.

There will be a new edition where both stories (Lynaly & Lilah’s) are as they were supposed to be… One.

This, in turn, will lead to the planned special edition of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle. It will include the uncut version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle, the bits here and there that were cut, and what Al and I had called “The Lilah Bible.” It probably isn’t anything substantial, but I like creating things for everyone to see and enjoy. This edition will also include the novella about Lynaly and a bonus chapter from the next book.

  • Dana and Walter’s Adventures aka The Dana and Walter Files: The Untold Stories of New Boston and Middleton

This title is just a placeholder. Ode to Captain Placeholder. Fare thee well.

Anyway, I have a miniseries that will be first written online about the favorable detective duo—Walter and Dana.

Depending on the size, it may just be a novella or novel. It could also just be an anthology. It could be any size I’d want it to be really…but hmm…well you know.

  • The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing from Another World

I completed this last year… It was available on the site, but I didn’t get a cover done up. Well, that’s gonna change, and it’ll be available for sale, etc., Soon.

  • The Lodestone Files: Books Three and Four

Yep. There are four parts. The last two will be quick follow ups, and the series will be concluded.

As a bonus to the fun that was involved in the process…there will be a short story that I have drafted up from another location that takes place within the Lodestone universe.

Eventually, all four titles will be put in a neat little collection in all formats for you to enjoy. These were designed (unintentionally, but kind of so) to be quick reads. The super group will be pretty sweet (at least I think so—that is, in my opinion).

  • Abnormal Side Effects Redux

This title will get some TLC loving because it needs to. There will be a cover overhaul, a few more stories added.

  • Abnormal Essential Collection

Originally, this was what Abnormal Side Effects was going to be. However, this is going to have EVERYTHING. What do I mean by everything? It’s one of those…greatest hits kind of deals.

It will have The Lodestone Files, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle, Abnormal Side Effects, more stories, poems, and more extras. It will be a little black book with red font. No. Seriously.

  • MORE COMING!

Trust me. A lot is coming out.

Like what?

Book’s three and four for Lilah, Dana, Walter…everyone.

Bud Berkman’s premier.

Super-ultra-omega 600+ page sci-fi post-apocalyptic epic.

Sinclair Gets His Rolex, which is my superhero title [This is done by the way].

The next chapters of The Mysterious Stranger.

Last but not least…MORE BEAR GOD!

I’ll also be wrapping up some other stories, both long and short. It’s going to be only getting busier with balls going everywhere.

I hope you all enjoy this tidbit of what’s coming up and what’s in store for you.

I wish you all a s’good day/night.

Until next time,

RJM

 

Note: If you or someone you know is interested in being a guest blogger or contributor, please feel free to email me: mrsincados@abnormalpublishing.com with “Guest Blogger” or “Guest Contributor” as the subject.

The Chronic Suicidal is Coming Soon Q3/4 2017

Hey, folks.

As some of you may have seen on Facebook or Twitter, we’re getting ready for the great coming of Bob, the Chronic Suicidal.

The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will be on sale later this year in all formats (ebook, print, and hardcover). Price, cover, and more will be released soon.

There will be a limited batch of signed copies on hand, with a contest set to claim them. Contest specifications, rules, and such are TBA, and are subject to change on a whim.

As always, when you purchase a print copy, you’ll get the Kindle version for free.

There will also be “Bob” merchandise. More on that later.

I know, I know, that’s a lot of “later” talk… but trust me, you’re gonna love his tale.

For now, you can read the raw story, as it unfolded, here on A.B.Normal Publishing and Media Group.

Please remember, this is fiction. It’s an entertainment tale; a take on a fictitious entity. We do not support or encourage suicide. We are not doctors or professionals in the field of medicine or mental psychology or psychosis. If you’re in need of help, please contact a licensed practitioner or contact the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or go to Suicide Lifeline Prevention.

We look forward to bringing you another exciting story to places around the world.

I invite you to stay tuned for more.

Until next time,

RJM

Just a Few Days Left… [And Other Things]

Hey, folks.

There are just a few days left to snag up a Kindle copy of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle for only $0.99.

After that, the price will go up to $2.99 once again. There will be more promotions and all that gooey goodness in the coming days.

Alright, What Else is Going On?

Well, there are a few video recordings that are in the works. There are a few days worth of recordings to go through. For now, here is a little sliver of some pie. Bear pie. I mean, my Druid obviously lifts.

World Quests, Bear Hugs, and Alliance

 

Cool… (I Guess) What Else?

There is going to be a new Johnny Nightwalker post. Hooray! There will also be a short story from the Middleton Files, the release of Spanish Ladies. I should correct that. It is actually an excerpt.

Originally, Spanish Ladies was made as a stand-alone short story, but then I was thinking (and I think a lot).

What if you put it as a side story for Dana and Walter and make it a detective story? 

So it then became such a thing… The Middleton Files is a collection of files from New Boston and Middleton, prior to the events of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle. It’s none of the supernatural/paranormal-isque stuff, just a pair of cops doing their job on the streets. I thought it would be a good venue to share more about who exactly Dana and Walter are. Thus, I made the stories and such. The first short story premiered as Retribution.

There are a few that aren’t done, yet, but they are WiPs (Works in Progress).

So I hope you enjoy The Middleton Files: Spanish Ladies.

Anything Else?

Glad you asked! As a matter of fact, The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal is undergoing editing and all that fun stuff. I am aiming for a late Fall/Winter release; exact date TBA.

There are a few other stories that are being worked on… as such time is of the essence. The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World [book two of The Lodestone Files] is going to be getting a cover after I revisit it. For now, though, there is only a PDF copy available, and it still needs a little touching.

If you haven’t yet, you can check out book one here.

That about does it. More stuff will be posted as it happens and all that fine jazz ensemble. I wish you all well and as always…

Until next time,

RJM

Recap of Last Week Jan 8 – Jan 15, 2017

It’s the Recap of Last Week Jan 8 – Jan 15, 2017! From a touch up of The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle to more!

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FROM THE DESK OF ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY

Happy New Year and salutations.

Sure, the new year started a bit back but that’s OK. Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle was released, The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal was finished…and compiled. The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God ended its first season and (is being compiled) started its second season. It’s a new year and with it plenty of things to do!

NEW NEWS/POSTS

In case you missed out on last year’s finale, it’s a good time to get caught up.

The Season One Finale of The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God.

The conclusion of The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal.

The Winter break for Johnny “Nightwalker.”


So what’s happening this year? Well, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle is book two in the series (chronologically) while it was declared to be released first. Each book is stand-alone but offers as an overall piece of a greater puzzle. As such, the prequel…or book one…will be polished and offered to the Public this year with its title and cover announced.

Johnny Nightwalker will be finishing its story up. Thereafter, it will be compiled, sealed, cast into the shadows, summoned, and sent out into the world.

There may…be an appearance of a lovely fellow, and his name rhymes with…Bob. More on that later.

There will be several stories coming out via a novel, novelette(s), novella, etc.

Needless to say, there are things happening this year.

LILAH’S GUIDE TO HOYLE

 

Deluxe cover for "Lilah's Guide to Hoyle."
“All life is a gamble… We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

You can get a digital copy via Amazon at $2.99.

You can also secure a paperback or hardcover copy.

[Note: January 27, 2017, you can score a Kindle copy at $.99. Then on the 28th — 29th it will go up to $1.99, before going back up to its normal price on the 30th.]

All signed copies are currently out of stock.

In related news, there may be an “uncut edition” in the works and will be available only directly from us.

“What’s Your Offer?”

If you haven’t yet, you can download the ebook novelette The Lodestone Files: The Things in the Shadows for FREE on AmazoniBooksBarnes and Noble.

You can secure yourself a FREE PDF copy of the second installment, The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing from Another World.

You can also download the anthology Abnormal Side Effects for Free on Amazon, iBooks, Barnes and Noble.

You can also opt-in for our mail list and get your free copies here.


Everyone have a great week and see you next time!

RJM