The Return of a God

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God returns this Fall with more entries and advancements to the overall story, plus the current arc.

Season Two will finish up, and then in Winter/Spring Season Three will debut.

Some characters will live. Some will die. Others may evolve, and others may become Mary-Sue characters because nothing within the universe quite makes sense.

All in all, it will be a fun adventure, and I look forward to sharing it with everyone.

If you’re new to the story and its concept, I recommend clicking the link above and getting a snack…or two…OK, maybe a few.

— RJM

Updates and Other Things

Hey, Folks.

I thought I’d do some updates of what is slated to come out for the Summer and rest of the year. What does that entail? Let’s list it out!

  • The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal in all formats.

This means paperback, hardcover, and digital. Digital will be up first and priced at $2.99 on Amazon and right here at home. Purchase links will be available two weeks before widespread public release on A.B.Normal Publishing. Print editions will follow simultaneous of the Kindle release.

  • The Conclusion of Johnny Nightwalker

This story will be wrapped up soon. We can then wave goodbye to one of our suburban heroes for good…or maybe not. Who knows?

  • Lynaly’s Requiem

The Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle prequel is being edited, and well, I want to do more additions to it. That’s the beauty of working on something you love (and when it’s in your hands). The Lodestone Files and Abnormal Side Effects…those will be retouched (or remastered) with extras. More on that below.

Anyway, I will release this novella at $0.99 when it is finished. Spring/Summer 2018 release pending extra curricular activity. There will be a new edition where both stories (Lynaly & Lilah’s) are as they were supposed to be… One.

There will be a new edition where both stories (Lynaly & Lilah’s) are as they were supposed to be… One.

This, in turn, will lead to the planned special edition of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle. It will include the uncut version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle, the bits here and there that were cut, and what Al and I had called “The Lilah Bible.” It probably isn’t anything substantial, but I like creating things for everyone to see and enjoy. This edition will also include the novella about Lynaly and a bonus chapter from the next book.

  • Dana and Walter’s Adventures aka The Dana and Walter Files: The Untold Stories of New Boston and Middleton

This title is just a placeholder. Ode to Captain Placeholder. Fare thee well.

Anyway, I have a miniseries that will be first written online about the favorable detective duo—Walter and Dana.

Depending on the size, it may just be a novella or novel. It could also just be an anthology. It could be any size I’d want it to be really…but hmm…well you know.

  • The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing from Another World

I completed this last year… It was available on the site, but I didn’t get a cover done up. Well, that’s gonna change, and it’ll be available for sale, etc., Soon.

  • The Lodestone Files: Books Three and Four

Yep. There are four parts. The last two will be quick follow ups, and the series will be concluded.

As a bonus to the fun that was involved in the process…there will be a short story that I have drafted up from another location that takes place within the Lodestone universe.

Eventually, all four titles will be put in a neat little collection in all formats for you to enjoy. These were designed (unintentionally, but kind of so) to be quick reads. The super group will be pretty sweet (at least I think so—that is, in my opinion).

  • Abnormal Side Effects Redux

This title will get some TLC loving because it needs to. There will be a cover overhaul, a few more stories added.

  • Abnormal Essential Collection

Originally, this was what Abnormal Side Effects was going to be. However, this is going to have EVERYTHING. What do I mean by everything? It’s one of those…greatest hits kind of deals.

It will have The Lodestone Files, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle, Abnormal Side Effects, more stories, poems, and more extras. It will be a little black book with red font. No. Seriously.

  • MORE COMING!

Trust me. A lot is coming out.

Like what?

Book’s three and four for Lilah, Dana, Walter…everyone.

Bud Berkman’s premier.

Super-ultra-omega 600+ page sci-fi post-apocalyptic epic.

Sinclair Gets His Rolex, which is my superhero title [This is done by the way].

The next chapters of The Mysterious Stranger.

Last but not least…MORE BEAR GOD!

I’ll also be wrapping up some other stories, both long and short. It’s going to be only getting busier with balls going everywhere.

I hope you all enjoy this tidbit of what’s coming up and what’s in store for you.

I wish you all a s’good day/night.

Until next time,

RJM

 

Note: If you or someone you know is interested in being a guest blogger or contributor, please feel free to email me: mrsincados@abnormalpublishing.com with “Guest Blogger” or “Guest Contributor” as the subject.

The Writing (r)Evolution: Making a Happy Ending Happy (SFW)

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

The Bear God and friends get involved in a zombie apocalypse, and Ben finally gets to floss his teeth. Shiny!

Hey folks,

Welcome back to another exciting episode and conclusion, and yadda yadda, of the Writing (r)Evolution of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

It’s the end of the Crimson Tyrant Arc and well, a suitable place to stop with the “viva la revolucion” of writing. This was originally where I was going to stop the first season, but then I did a wee bit more. I may still revisit the other chapters (entries, etc) but if I do they will be later on.

I am going to be tending to other projects and other life matters that will be taking up more of my time. It’s for the greater good. (The greater good.)

There’s not much to say. It’s the end. I decided to make it more likable for Ben. Since the story is about Sin overall. Thus, it’s a happy ending. Not in the Nuru massage kind of way…

There ends up being some DC references, Star Wars, and, of course, Diablo…with some Devil May Cry. I really enjoyed doing this series and I will see to it hat it ends well.

Anyway, look to the future for the new projects and their completion.

Until next time,

RJM


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Thirty-One

[Don’t Stop. . .Believing]

Last time on The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God! Ben showed off his newly acquired battle prowess and knocked the ever-loving shit out of Albrecht, The Crimson Tyrant. After using his wannabe Pokemon-but-it’s-not-Pokemon attack, Albrecht was sent crashing into several buildings, leading the trio to believe the fight was over. However, Albrecht is now super massive, hulking, and towering over them. . .and the building in which they stand upon. Find out what happens today, on —

“You tarry on for far too long, Maker! Shut your mouth and let the fools do battle with me!” Wesker bellowed.

“Fine,” the Maker replied, “but you’re going to get your ass handed to you, and Ben will make good on his promise.”

The Crimson Tyrant laughed hysterically. “How could a pitiful, small, weak sack of flesh hope to defeat me? I am unstoppable!”

“Well, considering I already know the outcome. . .I think I’d know. . .and I am a betting man. But fuck it, what do I know?” The Maker then could be heard wandering off mumbling about incompetence and other shenanigans.

“Bear witness to my power, mortals!” Wesker bellowed once again.

The sky turned into a kaleidoscope of red, black, and yellow. Lightning shot in various directions, while the thunder rolled ferociously throughout the heavens. The sun was soon blotted out completely by the hulking crimson humongoid.

“If all you can do is play with the weather and get big. . .well. . .that’s not quite a feat,” The Bear God remarked smugly.

“Yes, yes, keep your facade of an act up, Bear God. You will meet your end the same way all the others have before. The era of The Bear God is at an end. This—this is the beginning of a new era—The Crimson Tyrant!” Wesker laughed manically as his hands reached towards the heavens.

The ground shook violently beneath the trio. Buildings crumbled, while the ground split open spewing the oppressed air of the old days that had been trapped underneath. Rubricon took note of this smell. . .

“What the hell died down there?”

“Oh, did you not know? This is a mass grave. . .several million poor saps that poured their efforts and wasted money in protecting their pathetic lives in those ‘vaults’ you believed would save your lives. Ah, how silly mankind is. Killing one another for a purse, a car, a hot dog. . .squabbling over spilled milk, blowing up one another over religious and political views. You are no better than a pack of wild dogs. However, that pack of wild dogs at least has some order. Ah, but I digress. Allow me to introduce you to the populous in which you stand upon!”

Wesker focused his energy on reviving the long-rotting dead. Groups of skeletons, corpses, and the dismembered rose from their horrible grave and climbed to the desolate city streets.

“Oh hey, a Zombie Apocalypse. Great. What I always wanted!” The Bear God smiled ear to ear.

“Yes, yes, smile all you want. . .for they will be your undoing! They will tear you to pieces and feast on your flesh. Then, after they are done with you and your friends, they will consume this wasteland and I will then raise everyone to do my bidding!” Wesker laughed maniacally as he finished telling his tale for world domination.

Before and all around them were millions of corpses. The odds were definitely not in their favor but they all knew how to deal with the undead.

“Go for the head! If you think you’ve killed one, make sure to go for the head again. Double tap for the win!” Sin bellowed as he began his onslaught.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, ” Rubricon sighed.

Ben smiled to himself. He had millions to kill and this. . .this pleased him.

After some time of purging the undead and dwindling the numbers significantly, the trio began to show signs of fatigue. Wesker also had a surprise for them. . .

“Whew! You’d think that will all the shit we’ve unloaded on them there would be less by now,” Sin remarked.

“What’s the matter? Getting tired?” Wesker inquired. “I am just getting started!”

All the undead that were killed off began to reanimate, leaving the Bear God to curse in a long, long, long curse.

“Ah ah, my furry fellow. A strategy is the most important concept in overcoming your opponent. You should have figured this out some time ago.” The Crimson Tyrant wagged his right index finger.

“You are really, really starting to piss me off!” Sin yelled.

Again the trio began their slaughter of the undead. This time though they made sure to use more. . .efficient methods of destroying the zombies—

“We’re not using the z-ed word!”

. . .

They made sure to use more efficient methods in eradicating the walking dead. . .by vaporizing them with their energy attacks, massive bombings, and other fun ways of dispatching things that I am going to not go into detail about because The Bear God ruined my moment of using ZOMBIES one fucking time.

“Go cry about it somewhere else! We’re a little busy here! Unlike you, you asshat!” The Bear God yelled.

“OK, you know what? How about I take away your plot armor? Let this cuntwaffle win and just say screw it? Huh?” The Maker yelled back.

“I’m fine with that,” Wesker replied.

“You shut your whore mouth!” The Maker quipped back.

Wesker’s gaze fell sadly to the ground.

“Sin, maybe you should apologize. We still aren’t even through the first season and there’s a lot of shit that we need to get done,” Rubricon added.

Sin sighed, “Fine.” He looked up towards the dark sky. ‘I am sorry.” He then spat on the ground.

There was a moment of silence. . .well, enough between the grunts, groans and killing of the undead. “Good enough. Go get ’em tiger.” The Maker replied.

The Crimson Tyrant then began a long-winded speech. “You insignificant wretched maggots! I will grind you into dust! I will put you in places you have never even thought possible! I will do things to your bodies that you thought only happened in prison movies. . .and prison! Your asses will be mine! Your souls will be mine!”

“Nope!” Ben dashed through the air and headed square for the red hulk.

One after the other, Ben assaulted the red beast with different variant water strikes: beams, geysers, jets, deluge, ice, bubbles, etc.

The Crimson Tyrant looked stunned and staggered. Ben readied for a surprise for Wesker. He hovered before the red beast and stretched his arms out far to his sides. Every inch of Albrecht’s body became encased in the massive bubble that formed around him.

“What is this? WHAT IS THIS!?” Wesker bellowed in disbelief.

Ben spoke calm and collective. “Remember when I said I would tear out your soul?”

Wesker began levitating in the air. Soon enough, he was high above the trio. His body began to convulse. Bones cracked, limbs moved in ways that were unnatural. And then. . .it happened. A green translucent image of the Crimson Tyrant was separated from his body—his soul. The lifeless body came crashing to the ground, swallowed wholly by the massive crevasse.

“What?! No!”

Ben then drew the soul to his mouth where he began to floss with it. An astounding sight really. Despite the new Ghoulish-Mirelurk Ben, his teeth were already quite clean. But it was a point he was making. He then swallowed Albrecht’s soul wholly. His eyes flickered a crimson haze, and he let loose a maniacal laugh. . .and then it subsided.

All the undead dropped back to their lifeless selves and were then swallowed up by the ground. The weather went back to normal, with the sun shining brilliantly. Everything went back to ‘normal.’

Rubricon and Sin clapped at the display of awesomeness that Ben had done.

“Great job, Ben! Well done.”

The building started to shake and rumble. It was starting to collapse.

“That’s cool and all, but since this place is going down, we need to get the shit we came for and leave. Now!” Rubricon stated.

The trio began to scan for the item that would be able to revert Rubricon to his human form. After a brief search, they found it and set out to drag the “egg people” out. Behind them, the building collapsed and dust billowed. One by one, the egg sacks were broken and those that were still alive were reunited with their appropriate faction. Cheers from the diverse coalition of factions were heard for miles.

A Brotherhood of Aluminum soldier spoke to the trio. “We saw the whole thing. We are truly in awe of your battle prowess and dedication to bettering the Wasteland. I believe I speak for everyone here when I say. . .thank you. Thank you, Bear God. Keep anything you came across. We’ve all grown in this time spent here. We’ve all come to share the same commonality. . .and we all seek the same goal; peace. We will venture the Wasteland and preach on your behalf, and hope that the warring factions can see the futility that is presently staked. . .rooted in our common cores, and that it will be replenished with the ideals of rebuilding this land for us all.”

The trio all looked at one another. “Uh. . .OK,” said Sin.

The group began to disband, with some shaking hands and giving one another pats on the back. As they all left and were a fair distance from the trip the most random thing happened. . .

A series of explosions erupted from all the different groups. They were all dead.

“Well then. . .that didn’t last long,” The Bear God remarked.

Rubricon examined the DNA modifier. “Guess it’s time to bring sexy back.”

Ben snickered.

“Quiet, freak! I was a glorious model worthy man. . .” Rubricon added.

“It’s true. He was a boss,” Sin also added.

After applying the modifier, Rubricon stood unchanged. “Did it work?”

“Maybe you need to do a little dance?” Sin questioned.

“I dunno. . .I—I. . .oh! It’s coming!” Rubricon started to convulse and grunted in pain.

“Are you taking a shit or. . .” Ben remarked.

After a few moments and a flash of blinding light, there emerged a newly formed Rubricon.

He had fair skin, his bright blue eyes sparkled under the sun. His hair was medium length—silver—and tied back tightly. He still wore his brown leather duster and black leather outfit, etc.

“I am. . .renewed!” He cried happily.

“Not quite. . .” Sin held up a mirror.

“What the—no, no!” Rubricon stammered.

He saw it. He didn’t believe it but he saw it. In the reflection was a pair of ears that stood partially erect. “Mother fu—!”

The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God!

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE.

The Writing (r)Evolution: Evolution and Transformations

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

Albrecht decides to transform into a new killing machine. Meanwhile, Ben evolves into a new water type Pokemon. No, not really…but let’s just say that.

Hey, folks.

So here we are, back once again with another Writing (r)Evolution, with a revisit to The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

In this episode, (or entry, whatever you want to call it) we have the clash of titans: Albrecht Wesker, the Crimson Tyrant, and Ben, our beloved Mirelurk friend. Now, the reason why I gave Wesker the title of The Crimson Tyrant is mostly because of Tyrants have that lovely fleshy color…not really because of that, but because of Crimson Heads! Ah, yes, Crimson Heads…where the zombies get sent into a frenzy at the scent and taste of blood, become evolved into a fast moving, rage on your face, ripping you apart beasts. You gotta love Resident Evil, folks. Even if it’s to love to hate it. Also, Wesker. I mean, if I have to spell it out about Wesker, and why Wesker…I don’t know if we can be friends.

Mirelurks, on the other hand. They’re dag nasty, ugly misshapen crab beasts, mutated from tons of radiation. Enter our buddy, Ben. They have that lovely exploitable weakness—their face. Soft parts tend to be easy to exploit in a fight. As such, our crustacean friend here gets pounded like a piece of beef on a cutting board and a mallet. What? Did you expect a “prom night” and “virgin” analogy? Come now… I am better than that. *snicker*

Anyway, since we have Rubricon and the Bear God on standby, watching and seeing how things go down, we have their observation, remarks, and all that fun stuff. Then we have some transformation bits…because how can you not? Luckily, Albrecht turns out to be short on the transformation bit, takes a dump, and there are no nude transformation scenes. Cry about it. Do it. Too bad. Ben’s evolution mimics that of Pokémon, and such, he is now considered a water type. I made that up, and I don’t feel bad about it.

So, there you have it. Episode 29 has some good parts, and it rolls over into 30…and 31. Maybe a little more. Where the Writing (r)Evolution ends? Soon.

Until next time,

RJM


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-Nine

[Evil May Be Able to Evolve, but So Can I]

As Ben unleashed his anger upon Wesker, the “Crimson Tyrant,” he had become so blinded with rage that he couldn’t see he was bleeding out from within. He was dying, yes, but only being kept alive by the rage that lived within. He levitated in the air while controlling the raging winds, thunder, and lightning with his claws.

The Wasteland Bear God knew his Mirelurk companion was failing, and fast, however, to step in now would probably piss the Lord Mirelurk off incredibly.

He cracked a grin at the thought. “Alright, Ben, playtime’s over! It’s my turn!”

The winds howled louder and started to push the Bear God and Rubricon off the roof.

“I said he’s mine!” Ben roared; furious, and the skies let loose a roll of thunder and a tremendous bolt of lightning that struck the Crimson Tyrant.

With all the wind and debris, it was near impossible to see what was exactly going on in the eye of the storm, except that hopefully, Wesker would be dead soon, and they could maybe. . .move on to bigger things.

The moment of pondering came to an end, when Wesker erupted to where Ben was. Newly applied scars littered the brute’s body.

Albrecht yelled at the top of his lungs, “This has been all so very cute, my little lobster friend, however, this is your end!”

With a swift backhand to his face, Ben was sent crashing through the roof of the genetics building, down to the lobby on the ground floor. The Bear God’s Herald laid motionless. The rest of his life was knocked out.

Wesker smacked his lips hungrily. “I will rather enjoy devouring him. I don’t even have to get a pot boiling!”

“We’re still here, you know,” The Bear God commented.

“Oh, yes, yes, where are my manners. My apologies, gentlemen. I just got lost in the moment. I am sure you know how it is,” Wesker replied apologetically. “Your friend tried so hard—what a shame. Well, no sense in mourning his loss, for you two will be next!”

The last standing duo readied themselves for a battle of their wits, skills, and for their lives.

“I wouldn’t count on us being pushovers just yet, bud,” Rubricon stated.

Wesker grinned wickedly. “No, no, of course not. I expect you both to go all out and have a proper beat down.”

“Let’s get this going because I do have a laundry list of shit to do,” The Bear God commented.

“Eager to die I see. Very well, you can go first, but first. . .let me show you, gentlemen, what’s in store.” Wesker replied.

The crimson brute hunched himself over and clung to his sides—thick leathery wings sprouted, while a set of horns erupted from his forehead, each longer than one another, and each one more pointy than the other.

“Please don’t say, ‘me so horny,'” Sin commented.

“Oh, don’t worry. I am not even finished,” Wesker replied casually with a grin.

Next, a long tail erupted from behind him, its end adorned with spikes.

“Now?” Sin asked.

“Not yet. . .” Wesker grunted.

“How long is this going to take? Please don’t say several episodes. . .” Sin sighed.

After several moments of ‘changes’, the Crimson Tyrant stood before the mighty duo. He grew several feet more, had more razor-sharp claws on his hands, and elbows, while his feet seemed to mimic a Deathclaws.

“I have to say, that was the most boring transformation I’ve ever seen. Wouldn’t you agree, Rubricon?” Sin commented.

“I would have to. I mean, when we fought, that one time was even better,” Rubricon added.

Wesker’s face had a serious look on it. “Enough! I will kill you both, devour you and your pathetic crab friend, and then go out into the Wasteland and devour the rest of its denizens.”

“Uh oh, I guess Al here is getting upset with us. Look, pal, if you need to talk about some issues you’re having getting it up. . .” The Bear God verbally attacked the red brute.

“I am not your pal, bud.”

“Well, I ain’t your bud, bro.”

“I’m not your bro, friend.”

“I’m not your friend, Steve.”

“MY NAME IS ALBRECHT,” Wesker roared furiously.

“Ooh, I think we hit a nerve here, Rubricon! Watch out! We got a badass over here!” The Bear God chuckled.

Unbeknownst to them, far below, there had been a transformation taking place. Ben no longer was the Mirelurk he once was. . .

You could hear a whistling sound fast approaching the rooftop as if something was coming. . .

“I said, that asshole was MINE!” Ben roared, uppercutting the crimson beast in the jaw.

“Holy shit! What happened to you, Ben?” The Bear God looked at his former crab comrade.

Ben stood before them now. He was no longer the Mirelurk he once was. He was a hybrid of a Ghoul and Mirelurk, with his right arm as a mighty claw. He was above average than a typical man would be, but smaller in stature than his mighty Mirelurk form. His back was blackened, tough, and it came to wrap around his head—a new shell, if you will. No longer did he have the eyes of a Mirelurk, he had the black eyes of a Ghoul. To all of them on the rooftop, he was fuck ugly. Almost as bad as Wesker was at first, or any other Ghoul they had encountered.

“I’ve evolved,” he said.

“The fuck is this? Pokemon now?” Sin inquired.

“Nope. It’s just how I work. You’ll see more, in time.” Ben replied.

He turned his gaze to Wesker, “As for you. . .I told you I was gonna tear your soul out. . .I mean to see to it.”

Wesker grinned malevolently. “I can’t wait to see you try, small fry.”

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE.

The Writing (r)Evolution: It’s Better to be Beaten Off. . .Than Beaten Up.

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

The Bear God and friends come face to face with the Crimson Tyrant, Albrecht. Ben goes toe to toe, fist to claw, in this jerkingly jerk jerked, beating off, episode…entry…thing.

Hey, kiddies.

We are back with Episode 28 of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God. A few more, or at least the wrap-up of the Crimson Tyrant Arc and it’s off to the races.

See what I did there with the “r” in the title? Clever, I know. Not really. Anyways…

There’s not much to go with here as far as recapping. Reading through it is pretty self-explanatory. Ben is getting angry, hasn’t had a Snickers, and well…he’s pissed.

I also make notions to Sealab 2021 with the Fueng Shui episode, and other good old Pop Culture references. Just because.

Well, it’s about time to do something else. Like this excerpt…

Tomorrow is a brand new day. *Looks at Gantz* Yeah.

Until then,

RJM


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-Eight

[It’s Better to be Beaten Off. . .Than Beaten Up.]

A Mirelurk pops his head up in front of a black screen.

“Hi! It’s me, Ben. Everyone’s favorite Mirelurk in the Wasteland. You may know me from The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God as the Bear God’s Right Hand. . .or The Herald of Destruction. Well, not too many people were excited that I got a little more screen time, or with my change after the incident with Jahn Trabolta. Let me tell you this, I frankly don’t give a damn. Some were even upset that I may be plotting against the Bear God. I am here to tell you that *SPOILERS*”

After a lengthy and long-winded speech. . .

“. . .and with that you can go fuck yourself. Until next time! This is me, flipping you off. . .with claws.”

Ben smiles. Well. . .if you could actually see a Mirelurk smile. He’s smiling though.


The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God

Screen fades to black. . .some more.


Last time, on Diary of the Wasteland Bear God. . .

Rubricon confessed his love for nuts. While the Bear God was getting bitch slapped through walls and getting acidic jizz-shit-blobs in his eye; let’s just hope that none of it got in his mouth, and if so, that he didn’t swallow. Ben then volunteered for the next beat down of the APOCALYPSE. . .against the mighty crimson tide. . .Albrecht “The Tyrant” Wesker! No, we did not, or are not. . .playing off of Resident Evil at all! Get that idea out of your head! Besides, there is no steroid buffed the fuck out Chris Redfield, or Claire. . .or Jill. . .or Rebecca Chambers. . .HEY LADIES!

We now resume your regularly scheduled program, Keeping Up with the Finches. Will Abraham’s son, Jake, finally get with Lucy Abernathy? Will Blake Abernathy avenge his daughter, Mary? Find out on an all-new episode at 10 PM EST (9 PM CST).


“Seriously, do you ever stay focused on one thing?” The Bear God grunted as he reached to his feet, the debris falling off.

He gave a mighty shake of his body, bristling his fur, concrete dust and dirt took to the air.

“Who is your friend talking to?” Albrecht inquired.

“Just someone who likes to annoy us with random intermissions of nonsense,” Rubricon replied.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Ben chanted, clacking his claws and closing the gap between him and his foe.

Albrecht smacked his lips. “Ah, I see you are quite feisty—that’s good. It gets the blood pumping, saturates your muscles—so when I do kill you. Mmm. You taste delicious.”

Ben charged full force now. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind when I am devouring your heart. . .and your soul,” he yelled.

The immovable crimson object met with the brown leathery unstoppable force. . .a blinding white light overwhelmed the “lobby.”

As the light faded back to normal, Rubricon and the Bear God looked around for the two fighters. They were nowhere to be found. At least, not on this level. Apparently, they had collided with one another and then busted through the ceiling. Punches could be heard, being thrown mostly at the lord crustacean of them all.

Ben was being overwhelmed, but he was taking the hits in stride, and with spirit.

“You hit like a Radroach,” he yelled at Wesker.

“I guess I shouldn’t hold back anymore. . .” Wesker grinned. “After all, I do know of your weak spot. . .just like all of your Mirelurks share.”

Ben was surprised. . .not only by the words, but also the massive attack that came crashing against his face. He tumbled across the rooftop like a tumbleweed, and then laid motionless after the assault.

“Well. . .that was rather short lived, I must say.” Wesker clasped his hands together, slightly disappointed.

“Ben,” the Bear God yelled, as he rushed to his fallen comrade’s side. “Are you alright?”

“Face. Hurts. Ouch.” Ben cringed with unbearable pain.

“You’ll be alright. Why don’t you let me take over now?” The Bear God asked.

“His soul. . .is mine.” Ben stated.

His eyes flickered a reddish haze.

Use your rage, Ben.

The mighty Mirelurk rose to his feet and clacked his claws furiously. “BEN SMASH!”

“Oh, we’re not finished yet. I am quite impressed, hatchling. I suppose I should maybe give it a little more effort. My stomach is starting to rumble.” Wesker looked up in the sky. “It is also nearing lunch. . .and I am famished.”

“I am going to kill you, apple bottom fuck face!” Ben roared.

“Wow. I’ve never seen this part of Ben before.” The Bear God said to Rubricon.

“Yeah, I’ve just met the kid, and I’ve got to say. . .he’s pretty pissed.” Rubricon added.

“I’m going to totally floss with your soul after I am done tearing it out!” Ben yelled as he charged.

“Ah ah ah. . .” Wesker wagged his left index finger, “remember you still have that weakness!”

Wesker then wound up another series of fist attacks against Ben’s face and torso. However, Ben had succumbed to his rage, and it only fueled the fire that raged within. His feet had emanated red, to match with his anger. He darted around Wesker, unleashing his own attacks against the big red hulk.

Dust began to billow underneath the crustacean’s feet. As he circled the brute faster and faster, he eventually became a fierce tornado of pain and destruction. Dark gray clouds formed overhead, blotting out the sun, while thunder and lightning crashed, and sounded across the Wasteland. The Herald of Destruction danced to his own beat now, and it was to the symphony of doom.

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE.

The Writing (R)Evolution: The Continuation of the Mashup

Action. Check.

Dystopian. Check.

Comedy. Check.

Raunchy. . .Sexy. Double-check.

It’s the mashup of mashups with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God! Where we check out the writing revolution and evolution.

The Bear God and friends infiltrate a building to retrieve some hostages, find out what happened inside, and what the hell the FAP Virus is.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to another revolutionary, evolutionary writing visit to The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God. So, get pumped, get jacked, get soaked, because it’s about to get heavy and go off.

In Fallout, there was a virus that was used to help create the Super Mutants: the FEV Virus or Forced Evolutionary Virus. Imagine, combining that with some Resident Evil goodness. That sounds a bit interesting, right? Nothing like some gene splicing, zombie brain eating, T-Virus inhabitants visiting our beloved Wasteland.

Now, this arc isn’t as extravagant or flashy as the “Star Trek” one, but it is pretty damn entertaining. As the story progresses, characters will evolve more and more; physically, mentally, and become stronger. You could say they’re all secretly part Saiyan. Ha! But no, really, I make fun or do nods to almost everything but the kitchen sink. I suppose I can do one of those next. . .

Anyway, I am going to cut this short because I rather the story start explaining itself versus me jibber-jabbering.

Friday is our last Bear God episode for this week.

Until next time,

RJM


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-Six

[Prepare for Genetically Modified Evil]

“Shh, not so loud.” Sin batted at the giddy Mirelurk. “Do you want them all to know we’re here?”

Ben cocked his head to the side. “Well, then we’d be able to kill them easily.”

The Bear God shook his head. “The whole point of this is to make sure the hostages, or whatever, don’t die. . . Remember?”

Ben sighed, “Yeah, I know. . .” He clacked his claws a few times, “I don’t really care about them though.”

“Ben. . .” The bear sighed, “sometimes I really don’t know about you.”

The Mirelurk bounced up and down, either in excitement, or just because he was ready to dismember something, anything.

The trio wandered further in, scanning rooms for anything that gave a hint of what exactly was going on. They came across a terminal in the lobby that glowed white and yellow. Its red letters blinked in a repetitive fashion. Apparently, there was a viral outbreak, and with it, a containment breach on the 20th floor.

“I bet I know where this is going. . .” The Bear God sighed as he went through the terminal, looking for information regarding the ordeal.

After a few moments, he found what he was looking for. “Okay, so they have the FEV virus. . .and. . .then there’s a FAP virus. Cute.”

“I bet whoever came up with that one got a huge pay raise.” Rubricon chuckled.

The big bear clicked through more and more files. “Mm probably, but they probably didn’t get to stay alive long enough to enjoy it. Says here that they tried to fashion a third virus strain that incorporated both strains, and one mystery virus, that was to be used upon the world. They had a vaccine made and ready for distribution, but of course, it never saw the light of day. It had a successful kill rate of 99.9%, reanimated the subject one minute after death, and evolved their DNA, bone structure, and. . .well, it cuts off the rest. By the looks of it though, there was a mind control or some manipulation that could be used. Leave it to the government to fabricate something to destroy its people and then raise them from the dead. . .just to take control of them.”

Rubricon grunted. “Meh. Politics. . .I rather not get into the fun debacle about them.”

Sin nodded. “Agreed. We press on and start making way towards the top.”

The trio began their ascent to the upper floors. They had come across only bodies and more bodies. Some were clean picked, while others had some sort of green residue. It almost seemed to have resembled slime. . .or rather. . .ectoplasm. Rubricon held up a femur that was severely gnawed on by something monstrous and examined it.

“So, what do you think?” The Bear God inquired.

“Something bigger than you, clearly,” Rubricon replied as he continued to examine the bone.

“No shit, Sherlock. I mean the green shit. What is it?” Sin retorted.

Rubricon held the bone close to his nose and sniffed it. “Ugh, good grief! That is rancid!” He dropped the bone and waved the air in front of his nose.

“Well yeah. . .what do you expect? It’s probably been here for Maker knows how long.” The bear grunted at the gagging rabbit-man.

The Maker’s voice echoed in their minds, “About 200 years or so. . .

The Bear God and the Maker began. . .bickering.

“You just like to spy on us. . .don’t you?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t you have anything else better to do?”

“Nope, not really.”

“Not give us some hints? Help a brother out? You know. . .not be a dick?”

“Ha, if I did that then I wouldn’t have bothered with you, let alone what’s left of that world.”

“You’re an asshole of a god, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know about being an asshole. I mean, sure, I am, but I prefer being called. . .fair.”

“There’s no such thing as a fair asshole.  Maybe for gingers, but that’s pushing it.”

“Look, if you guys would just shut up and keep going, then maybe you would, you know, find more stuff. . .maybe clues. GASP! I know it’s such a shocking thing to do, thinking for yourselves. Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered giving you free will.” The Maker then sighed. “You have all this power, and you decide to be a cunt. . .to me! Pah, maybe I should just let Ben become the new god.”

Ben clacked and clattered his claws. “Oh, that would be quite lovely! I would destroy and smite in your name, oh great and powerful one.”

“Yeah. . .it’s not happening. I tasked the lot of ya, especially, you—Sin. . .to help rebuild the Wasteland. Not make it as a sandbox to live out your fantasies, and blow each other off. Now get back on track, or else I won’t tell you about Alpha-01 Crimson Wesker “The Tyrant” that was a part of the GMO Virus dubbed “Terminator Project”, that can raise people from the dead, even skeletons, and make an army of the living dead.”

The trio went silent.

“Well, I guess I got a little carried away there. Oh well. So, now that you know and the rest of the world does, maybe you can all get on your merry way and start showing off because I am getting bored observing you guys, but you’re the only thing on. So. . .” the Maker then sighed, “dammit.”

The three looked at one another.

“So, this thing’s like a lich, or whatever?” Rubricon asked aloud.

“Sort of. It’s really a fascinating story, I’ll tell you what—”

“Spare us, please. If you really want us to carry on here and you know, not be fucking boring. . .OH, GREAT ONE!” Sin interjected.

“I see. . . Well, did you ever stop to think that maybe. . .just maybe. . .baby. . .that the reader wanted to know?”

Sin sighed. “They will know. . .I am sure. Since you’re the one “writing” it all out anyway.”

“Ah, guilty as charged.The Maker chuckled. “Very well, get a move on then, kiddies!”

The trio started to wander past the slimy bone and head for the next stairwell when. . .

“Did you guys know that a pig has an orgasm for 30 minutes? 30 minutes! That’s like nutting for—”

Sin yelled, “Oh for shit sake!”


THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD!


Check back Friday for the latest on this season’s Wasteland Bear God! With love, sugar, spice, and—screw it, I am tossing some “good stuff” in these brownies.

Wait. . . this thing’s still on?

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE.

Writing (R)Evolution: A New Arc for Our Heroes

Action, comedy, dystopian, raunchy, crazy, sexy. . .cool. It’s the mashup of mashups: The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

The Bear God and friends return to a normal life. Ha, just kidding. A new arc begins for our trio.

Good day, everyone.

Welcome back to another episode of Writing (R)Evolution with The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.

So, our heroes return to their “normal” life. Ha. Nope. They can’t do normal, not now at least. So what does that leave for them?

Well, I can’t exactly say what yet. . .but let’s just say it involves Resident Evil. I mean, I enjoyed having a cross-over mashup of Star Trek with Fallout and WoW. Sure, there are aliens in Fallout, but when you combine TNG and Original Star Trek? Fun stuff.

I am happy with how things progress. It’s still raunchy in bits, witty, asinine, hysterical. . .but it’s in good fun, and I would like to think better than what it once was. Thus, the evolution of The Bear God and Friends.

Join us next time for more savage sezchuan secret sauce.

RJM


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The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God

Season One: Episode Twenty-Five

[The Uh Ohs About Our Boys and GMOs]

 

Normality seemed to have returned to the life of The Wasteland Bear God. Albeit, it was still on his ridiculously, absurdly long quest for his missing son and wife.

He had gotten acquainted with a lost space crew. . .and as much to his surprise. . .he kind of enjoyed the company of others. Even if they dressed and spoke silly.

He had also become accustomed to his frenemy [and brother-in-law], Rubricon, and Ben’s company. Though, Ben was still hit or miss. . .depending on the circumstance. Rubricon, on the other hand, was more stable, more predictable. Although there was a part of him that wanted to keep warring with the rabbit humanoid, he also wanted to get his family back. Which in turn, allowed him to destroy those responsible. For this, he was thankful and smirked at the thought.

Today, the trio was traveling to a building that held genetic modification information, and other absurdities that didn’t interest the Bear God one bit. However, Rubricon insisted on the trip, and he reluctantly agreed. Ben only agreed just because there might be some killing. Go figure.

Sure enough, the tall, massive building stood high above the others, with pockets of Super Mutants and other threats. Well, to Ben, these were “treats,” as such he’d like to. . .advertise. . .or something of the sort.

It also marked a dilemma, seeing as how there was a group of Gunners, Raiders, Synths, Brotherhood of Aluminum folks, and Super Mutants all wanting to get inside, but here they all sat outside. Patiently waiting.

Curiosity was nipping the asses of the three Wasteland trekkers, and well, the murderous impulses of Ben were starting to show.

The Bear God cleared his throat, turned and said low to the Mirelurk companion, “Ben, hold, and control yourself. For one more day, I’d like to maintain this. . .makeshift peace. . .that’s presented itself to us. So, before we go in balls to the wall, hurling our junk down the throats of our enemies, just keep to yourself. . .or I’ll make you into a skidmark.

Ben shivered at the thought. Whether it was the thought of getting completely obliterated by the Bear God, or if it was the thought of actually going toe to toe with the massive beast that “plagued” the Wasteland, hell, it was Ben. It could have been any number of things. However, Ben nodded and acknowledged the Bear God’s threat.

“Very well, but if things get shoddy. . .I am tearing this place up!” Ben snorted.

“Fine. Rubri’s keeping an eye on you, though. I’ll go check this out.” The Bear God sighed.

“Great. Babysitting,” Rubricon sighed.

“Oh, shut up. You’d be doing it if we had Dante,” Sin retaliated.

The Bear God made his way to the group of misfits, all eyeing him uneasily. “Easy, I’m just here to see what’s up with the waiting room party.”

A deep voice behind the power armor mask was first to speak in reply. “We’ve all lost something. . .someone. . .who were brought here.”

“Taken. . .” someone said among the crowd.

“Taken? What do you mean?” Sin questioned.

“Brother taken! We find gear here. Screams and cries for help! We send others in. . .but they don’t come out. . .alive.” A Super Mutant spoke, clinging to pieces of what was probably his comrades.

“There is something amiss here. We came to investigate, seeing this houses older technology that could benefit Synths, and help restore the Wasteland to a greener glory. However, most traditional methods of entry are all dangerous or have been destroyed. Remarked a Synth.

“A lot of people. . .things. . .have been taken. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Synth, Mutant, Raider, whatever. You go missing, you probably end up here. It’s worse than the rumors about the Institution.” A Gunner added.

“Why haven’t you all gone apeshit over one another? I mean, you all hate each other, right?” Sin asked.

Most nodded while others shrugged.

“Sure, we hate these Raider, Mutant scum buckets, and walking tin cans. . .” a Gunner Sargent spoke, “but in the end of things. . .we’re all in this mess together, and well, no one shot first.”

“That. Is. So. Lame,” Sin replied.

“Call it what you will, fur ball, we’re actually doing something about this mess, and we look to see it through.” A Raider remarked.

“Uh huh. . . Well, I don’t suppose you’ll let me go willy-nilly in, and poke my head around? There’s some stuff in there I need.” The Bear God asked.

“If you bring back everyone, we will all part peacefully, and you can have whatever it is you’re looking for.” The power armored soldier stated. “We can recover the tech at a later time.”

“Agreed,” said the Synth.

Sin sighed. “Alright, let me get my friends, and we’ll go in.”

Everyone nodded and agreed with the Bear God. He regrouped with Rubricon and Ben, giving them the news of the matter.

“Maybe I should stay behind. You know, just to make sure it’s not a trap.” Ben stated.

“Yeah, you’d be the trap and kill all these sad saps. No deal. You’re coming with us.” Sin replied, walking past the group of assorted Wasteland folk that looked upon them with a look of disgust, contrary to themselves.

Ben sighed with sadness. “You never let me have any fun.”

“I’m sure there will be a lot to have once we get inside. . .” Sin stated.

The front doors were busted wide open to the lobby of the genetics building. Bodies were strewn about, some old from before when the bombs dropped, and some. . .fresh. A loud thud could be heard from up above, maybe about five or so floors.

Sin turned to Ben, “See? Fun awaits.”

Ben clattered his claws together, “Oh what fun!”

THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD IS AN ONGOING A.B.NORMAL PUBLISHING EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ROBERT J. S. T. MCCARTNEY. CHECK HERE FOR MORE.